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Band 5+: Write an essay based on the graph above. You should write not less than 150 words

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The image shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1991-2014: Strawberry jam consumption starts at 80 tons in 1991, rises to a peak of 160 tons in 1996, drops to 120 tons in 2001, declines sharply to 40 tons in 2006, stabilizes around 40 tons in 2011, and falls to 0 tons by 2014; Lemon jam consumption starts at 40 tons in 1991, steady at 40 tons until 2001, rises to 80 tons in 2006, drops to 40 tons in 2011, and ends at 40 tons in 2014; Cherry jam consumption is introduced at 0 tons in 2001, jumps to above 40 tons in 2006, peaks just below 80 tons in 2011, and drops to 20 tons in 2014.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the utilization of three variants of jam in an Asian country over a period of 23 years. In genral, the amount of strawberry and lemon jams consumed follows similar trends, while cherry jam follows a different pattern.

In 1991, the consumption of strawberry jam was around 125tons, with a high of 160 tons in 1996, than followed a gradual decrease and reached a low of around 42 tons in 2014. Meanwhile, the usage of lemon jam in the start of the period was around 80tons, the high peaked around 85tons in 2006 and the low fell to 40tons in the end of the period.

On the other hand, cherry jam usage started only in 2006 with its lowest slightly above 0 tons, follwed by sharp surge in its use in 2011, and then declined to about 78tons by the end of the period.

Looking at the graph it is clear that eventhough the cherry jam consupmtion started lately but at the end of the period it had high consumption in camprison to 2 types.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

around: 4

period: 3

cherry: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview of the trends for the three jam types. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data, such as the starting values for strawberry and lemon jam, and the final value for cherry jam. The overview could be more precise, and the description of cherry jam's introduction year is incorrect. Additionally, there are some spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'genral', 'than', 'follwed', 'camprison'). To improve, focus on accurately reporting key data points and proofread for language errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. For example, the phrase 'than followed a gradual decrease' is confusing. The use of cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile' and 'On the other hand' is appropriate, but the final sentence is overly long and could be broken down for better clarity. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but limited and sometimes imprecise. Words like 'utilization' and 'variants' are good, but there are errors such as 'in genral', 'follwed', 'consupmtion', and 'camprison'. The report would benefit from a wider range of synonyms for 'consumption' and 'usage', and more precise terms to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'soared'). Avoid informal phrases like 'looking at the graph it is clear that' and aim for more formal academic language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include 'in genral', 'than followed', 'the high peaked', 'the low fell', 'follwed by sharp surge', and 'eventhough the cherry jam consupmtion started lately but'. There is also inconsistent use of articles and prepositions. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of past tense, and proper sentence structure. Using a mix of simple and complex sentences with accurate punctuation will enhance readability.

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