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Band 4+: Write an essay based on the graph above. You should write not less than 150 words

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The image shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1991-2014: Strawberry jam consumption starts at 80 tons in 1991, rises to a peak of 160 tons in 1996, drops to 120 tons in 2001, declines sharply to 40 tons in 2006, stabilizes around 40 tons in 2011, and falls to 0 tons by 2014; Lemon jam consumption starts at 40 tons in 1991, steady at 40 tons until 2001, rises to 80 tons in 2006, drops to 40 tons in 2011, and ends at 40 tons in 2014; Cherry jam consumption is introduced at 0 tons in 2001, jumps to above 40 tons in 2006, peaks just below 80 tons in 2011, and drops to 20 tons in 2014.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The line graph illustrates the figure of three different types of jam in a several Asian country between 1991 and 2014.

Overall, the strawberry jam was more popular than other different types of jams, and the cherry jam was popular after several years.

In 1991, the most popular jam was strawberry. It has approximently 140tons. Then it increased to 160tons in 1996, after several years it was decreased markedly to about 50tons. The lemon jam has 90tons in 1991, and in 2001 it was rose slightly to 100tons, and it was pick of lemon jam, but in 2014 in decreased marginally to 40tons. The last type of jam is cherry jam, but it was started to produce in 2006, and it has 10tons. In 2011 it was considerably increased for about 85 tons. The cherry jam was the most unpopular in those years.

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

several: 3

popular: 3

cherry: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and provides an overview, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and task achievement. Many of the figures provided in the report do not align with the visual description (for example, the starting amount for strawberry jam and the trends for lemon jam). While the report identifies the three types of jam and the general timeframe, the inaccuracies in the data presentation make it difficult to follow the actual trends. To improve, ensure that the numbers cited directly reflect the data provided in the graph and focus on describing the trends (increases, decreases, fluctuations) more precisely. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding verb tenses and sentence structure. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. While there is an attempt at an overview and body paragraphs, the transitions between sentences are abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Following this,' 'Subsequently') to link the trends of the different jam types more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'the figure of three different types of jam' instead of 'the consumption of three types of jam', and 'it was pick of lemon jam'). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'plummeted,' 'remained constant,' or 'reached a plateau.' Avoid using 'unpopular' when describing data trends; instead, use terms like 'lowest consumption levels'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect tense usage (mixing present and past tense), improper passive voice constructions (e.g., 'it was rose' or 'it was decreased'), and errors in article usage. Focus on mastering the simple past tense for describing historical data and ensure that subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the report. Practicing complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses, will also help improve your score.

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