Multiple Graphs

Band 6+: The following graphs illustrate electronic gaming trends in South Korea in 2006. The first outlines gamer age groups and gender demographics. The second indicates game type preference. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The following graphs illustrate electronic gaming trends in South Korea in 2006. The first outlines gamer age groups and gender demographics. The second indicates game type preference. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains 2 graphs about electronic gaming trends in South Korea in 2006; the top graph shows gamer age groups and gender demographics: <12 Male 10% Female 5%, 13-19 Male 25% Female 10%, 20-29 Male 30% Female 15%, and 30+ Male 15% Female 10%; the bottom graph shows game type preferences: Action Male 50% Female 40%, Strategy/Puzzle Male 10% Female 20%, Role-Playing Games Male 20% Female 30%, Simulation Male 10% Female 5%, and Other Male 5% Female 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two bar charts compare the total percentage of gamers based on gender across different age groups and the proportion of preference of five different kinds of games among all gamers in South Korea in 2006.

Overall, it can be seen that men dominated more across different age groups than women and 20-29 age group experienced a substanial difference between male gamers and female gamers, whereas role playing games were the most popular games among both gender demographics.

Regarding total gamers, the percentage of gamers for both genders increased gradually with age upto 29 year olds. Male under 12 year olds played games, at around one in ten of the total gamers, which was a double of female gamers of the same age group. A similar trend was noticed for between thirteen and nineteen age bracket. The biggest discrepancy was seen in between 20 and 29 age groups, where the pecentage of male gamers was roughly 35%, more than three times that of female gamers. By contrast, both gender lost popularity for gaming for over 30 year olds, still men playing games more than female.

In terms of preferance of games, role playing games were the most popular games, with nearly a half of the total percentage. This were followed by action and strategy or turn, at around 20% each. Simulation ranked third, with 10%, whereas others were the least popular games.

Word Count: 232

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

gamers: 10

games: 9

total: 4

percentage: 3

gender: 3

different: 3

groups: 3

between: 3

female: 3

playing: 3

popular: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features of both graphs and making relevant comparisons. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs for each graph. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions in the data, such as misstating the percentage for male gamers in the 20-29 age group (30% not 35%) and incorrectly describing the game type preferences (e.g., role-playing games at 30% for females, not nearly half). Additionally, some phrasing is unclear (e.g., 'strategy or turn' instead of 'Strategy/Puzzle'). To improve, ensure data accuracy and clarity in descriptions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall structure, including an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some minor lapses in coherence, such as the phrase 'both gender lost popularity for gaming for over 30 year olds' which could be clearer. Additionally, the transition between the two graphs could be smoother. To improve, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next and use cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and demonstrates a good range, with terms like 'discrepancy', 'demographics', and 'proportion'. However, there are some inaccuracies and less natural phrasing, such as 'substanial' (spelling error), 'preferance' (spelling error), and 'both gender lost popularity for gaming' (awkward phrasing). To achieve a higher score, aim for more precise and natural word choices, and ensure correct spelling throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include 'This were followed' (subject-verb agreement), 'the pecentage of male gamers' (spelling), and 'men playing games more than female' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is generally correct, but the errors in grammar and spelling are noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and proofreading for spelling mistakes.

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