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Band 5+: 1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

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Image for topic: 1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

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The image shows two diagrams: the process of chocolate production and the breakdown of a chocolate bar's price. Chocolate production begins with cocoa growing, leading to cocoa grinding, producing waste, and cocoa liquor. This is combined with sugar and ingredients, then pressed to separate into cocoa butter and industrial chocolate for food industries. The price breakdown pie chart highlights farmer (F) at 4%, chocolate company (CC) at 10%, tax (T) at 15%, supermarket (S) at 34%, and cost of ingredients and overheads (C) at 37%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The flowchart illustrates the process of making chocolate as well as pie chart showing divided cost of chocolate bar. Overview, there are 9 steps of the process and the proportion of sales price mostly goes to the chocolate company followed by the supermarket.

The steps of making chocolate start from grinding cocoa until it turns into cocoa liquor while unwanted parts become waste. Then, the pressed liquor becomes cocoa butter and cocoa powder used in an industrial chocolate. To create an industrial chocolate, it requires adding sugars and other ingredients. Alternatively, cocoa butter could be further utilized in food industry. After adding all the ingredients, it is compressed in mold and packed to be ready for selling.

The price of chocolate bar could be divided by 6 part. The largest part will be given to the chocolate company for 37% following by the supermarket for 34%. 15% of the price goes to tax and 10% for ingredients and overhead cost accordingly. Farmer has the least amount of the money with only 4 percentage.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chocolate: 8

cocoa: 5

price: 3

ingredients: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, describing both the chocolate production process and the price breakdown. However, there are some omissions and inaccuracies. For example, the overview could be more comprehensive by mentioning the key stages in chocolate production. Also, the price breakdown section contains some inaccuracies (e.g., misidentifying which element has the largest proportion). To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and that the overview provides a more complete summary of both diagrams.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The overview is a bit too general and could benefit from more specific details. The body paragraphs lack clear transitions between the process description and the price breakdown. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of information. For example, you could start the second paragraph with a phrase like, 'Turning to the cost distribution...' to clearly signal the shift in focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise and varied. While the report uses terms related to chocolate production and cost distribution, there's room for more sophisticated language. For instance, instead of 'divided cost,' you could use 'price allocation' or 'cost apportionment.' Also, avoid repetition by using synonyms where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('divided cost' should be 'the divided cost'), incorrect preposition use ('by 6 part' should be 'into 6 parts'), and subject-verb agreement issues. Sentence structure is also somewhat simple, limiting the expression of more complex ideas. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence variety to enhance the overall quality of the report.

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Band 5+: 1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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