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Band 6+: 1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

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Image for topic: 1. The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process. Write a report for a lecturer describing the information presented.

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The image shows two diagrams: the process of chocolate production and the breakdown of a chocolate bar's price. Chocolate production begins with cocoa growing, leading to cocoa grinding, producing waste, and cocoa liquor. This is combined with sugar and ingredients, then pressed to separate into cocoa butter and industrial chocolate for food industries. The price breakdown pie chart highlights farmer (F) at 4%, chocolate company (CC) at 10%, tax (T) at 15%, supermarket (S) at 34%, and cost of ingredients and overheads (C) at 37%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagrame illustrate the chocolate-making process and the percentage allocation of the price of a chocolate bar.

The procese of making chocolate begins with the grinding of the cocoa beans, to produce cocoa liquor and some waste producte. The liquor is veed in two ways. When pressed into powder it can be sold on to the food industry. Alternatively when pressed into cocoa butter is le used, along with the liquor to make industrial chocolate. This is combined with sugar and other ingrediente and refined to produce chocolate bars.

How is the money from the retall price of a chocolate bar divided up? The ple chars Indicates that the farmer, who produces the cocoa bean, receives only 4% of the retall price. The supermarket, on the other hand recelves 34%. A rather emall 10% goes to the chocolate comparty, while 15% is taken by the government is the form of taxes. The cost of ingrediente and production, make up the largest proportion, 37% of the price of a chocolate bar

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chocolate: 7

price: 4

cocoa: 4

liquor: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main aspects of both diagrams, providing a reasonable overview of the chocolate-making process and the price breakdown. However, there are some areas for improvement. The description of the chocolate-making process could be more detailed and clearer, particularly regarding the initial stages of cocoa growing and the different uses of cocoa liquor. Additionally, the report could benefit from a more structured approach, perhaps by dedicating separate paragraphs to each diagram and using more precise language to describe the proportions in the pie chart. Overall, the report demonstrates a good understanding of the task but could be enhanced with more detail and clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The description of the chocolate-making process feels somewhat disjointed. Consider using clearer transitions between the stages of production and between the two diagrams. Paragraphing is adequate but could be more effective in guiding the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For example, using more specific terms related to the chocolate-making process or the financial breakdown could enhance the report. Avoid direct copying of words from the diagram; instead, paraphrase the information using your own words.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('diagrame illustrate', 'procese', 'veed', 'le used', 'comparty', 'ingrediente'), and issues with article usage and sentence structure. While these errors don't completely obscure the meaning, they do affect the clarity and flow of the report. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct these errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate spelling.

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