Letter

Band 4+: Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter: say how long you now want to rent the apartment for explain why your plans have changed tell the owner about a problem in the apartment

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Dear Madam

I am writing to request an extended apartment rental period in your apartment., On the 1st of august I was given a manager position in my company so I canceled back to my hometown.

Right now, I want to stay in your apartment until I don’t work in my company because your apartment is very comfortable nvertible to live in.

I have to explain about the extent, because, on the 10th of December, I was given a manager promotion in my company as rewards from my sales achievement from 1 year ago so that I have a bigger responsibility in my company.

lLastly, I report the problem in my apartment regrading the lamp and wastafel, the light kitchen is off and the wastafel is broken so that must the spent long time to activity such as cooking and washing

I hope Madam permits me to extend your apartment for me

Your faithfully,

Muhammad Ridho Ardiansyah

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

apartment: 6

company: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements but includes some irrelevant information and inaccuracies. The request for an extended rental period is clear, and the reason for the change in plans is explained. A problem in the apartment is also mentioned. However, the explanation of the promotion and sales achievement is somewhat irrelevant. The language used is not always accurate or appropriate. To improve, focus on concise and relevant information, and ensure accurate grammar and vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, and the flow of ideas is difficult to follow. The reasons for wanting to extend the rental period are not clearly presented, and the connection between the promotion and the need to stay longer is unclear. The paragraphing needs improvement to separate distinct points. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your explanation.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to convey your message effectively. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and awkward phrasing. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to renting, explaining reasons, and describing problems. For example, instead of 'comfortable nvertible to live in,' try 'comfortable and conveniently located.' Also, avoid abbreviations like 'nvertible'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that impede understanding. Sentence structure is often flawed, and there are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent. For example, the first sentence is incomplete, and there are errors throughout the letter. Focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and proofreading carefully for errors.

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