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Band 4+: Pollution entering a particular part of ocean from 1997 to 2007

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The image displays two pie charts comparing sources of pollution entering a specified ocean region for years 1997 and 2007. In 1997, pollutants are distributed as follows: Pollutants from air: 5%, Litter: 18%, Farm waste: 22%, Industrial waste: 17%, Marine: 4%, Offshore oil: 4%, Domestic sewage: 30%. In 2007, the distribution is: Pollutants from air: 2%, Litter: 29%, Farm waste: 17%, Industrial waste: 9%, Marine: 2%, Offshore oil: 0%, Domestic sewage: 29%.

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The data illustrate the pollution that contained some part in the ocean in periods of 1997 to 2001.

Overall, 71% particles in the sea had slightly decreas over one decade, for example air pollutans, farm waste, industrial waste, marine and litter with industrial waste gain the biggest changes in intire periods. Altought there still 29% left for the pollutans to increase, such as Domestic sewage and offshore oil, which has more number of rise than other.

It is clearly saw in the 1997 pollutans from air held the most part of the pollution in ocean which is 30%. Otherwise, in the last period, pollutans from air has equal percentage with domestic sewage due to the slightly fall for air pollutans and the significantly soar by domestic sewage from 18% to 29% in ten years.

In addition Indurtial, marine and offshore were in the mid position in the percentage of ocean pollution. While Indurtial waste and marine were similary decline for 8% and 9%, the offshore oil increased 9%. Not to mention the farm waste and litter were the least percentage of the whole particles of pollution in the sea

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

pollutans: 5

waste: 5

pollution: 4

ocean: 3

marine: 3

domestic: 3

sewage: 3

offshore: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is not very clear, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant issues in coherence and cohesion. The organization of information is unclear, and the flow of ideas is difficult to follow. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The introduction is vague, and the overview lacks clarity. To improve, focus on structuring the report logically, using clear topic sentences, and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. Consider grouping similar types of pollution sources together and discussing their changes over time in a more organized manner.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There are instances of imprecise language and a lack of sophistication in expressing the data. To enhance lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to environmental issues and data analysis. Use synonyms and varied sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve the overall quality of the writing. Pay attention to the correct usage of prepositions and articles.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent and sometimes incorrect. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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Band 4+: Pollution entering a particular part of ocean from 1997 to 2007

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Pollution entering a particular part of ocean from 1997 to 2007

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The charts below show the reasons of students to study a particular in a UK university in the year 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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