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Band 6+: The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing survey results on happiness factors across age groups. For people under 30: "Achievement at work" is 31%, "Having a good lifestyle" 22%, "Traveling" 15%, "Doing hobbies" 18%, "Other factors" 14%. For people over 30: "Achievement at work" is 32%, "Family relationships" 30%, "Financial security" 20%, "Other factors" 8%, "Traveling" 10%.

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The pie chart provides the survey results of two grouprs of people: under 30 and over 30. The chart illustrates the answers about the things which provide hapiness, including finance, career success, hobbies, traveling, family etc. Overall, such factors as achievement at work and doing hobbies are named in both groups, and moreover, the proportions are nearly identical within these sections. But in spite of this similarity, some sectors have a significant difference between each other.

Respondents under 30 also mark the importance of a good looking in their ages, this sector takes its 18%. Meanwhile, this section is absent in the seniors pie chart. Instead, 20% participants over 30 name the financial security as a way to achieve happiness.

Besides this, the contribution of traveling in the younger group is 15%. Almost the same percentage, 14% is a figure for family time in the older group, where the traveling isn’t mentioned at all.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chart: 3

traveling: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the charts, such as the importance of 'achievement at work' in both age groups. However, there are inaccuracies (e.g., stating 'good looking' is a factor for under 30s when it's 'having a good lifestyle') and omissions (e.g., not fully addressing 'family relationships' in the over 30s group). To improve, ensure accurate data representation and cover all major aspects of the charts.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction provides a general overview, and the body paragraphs attempt to highlight key differences and similarities. However, transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. For example, in the last paragraph, the connection between traveling in the younger group and family time in the older group could be clearer.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'proportions,' 'identical,' 'significant difference,' and 'financial security.' However, the vocabulary could be more precise and sophisticated to achieve a higher score. For instance, instead of 'good looking in their ages,' consider a more appropriate phrase like 'lifestyle' or 'personal image.' Also, vary your word choice to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'The pie chart provides the survey results of two grouprs of people' should be 'The pie chart provides the survey results of two groups of people.' Also, 'Respondents under 30 also mark the importance of a good looking in their ages, this sector takes its 18%,' contains awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. Focus on improving sentence structure and accuracy to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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Band 6+: The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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