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Band 5+: The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing survey results on happiness factors across age groups. For people under 30: "Achievement at work" is 31%, "Having a good lifestyle" 22%, "Traveling" 15%, "Doing hobbies" 18%, "Other factors" 14%. For people over 30: "Achievement at work" is 32%, "Family relationships" 30%, "Financial security" 20%, "Other factors" 8%, "Traveling" 10%.

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The charts illustrate information about what people of different age group say makes them most happy. The data is given in percentages.

Overall, majority of people despite being over or under 30, said that achievement at work makes them happy.

According to the chart, apart from the achievement at work, daily hobbies also makes them feel enjoyed and satisfied. Some people preferred that being with family and travelling were the source of their happiness. Others shared that having a good appearance and financial security were enough to make them pleased. Only few people’s preferences were not revealed.

Word Count: 97

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

makes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key features of the data. However, there are some omissions and generalizations. To improve, include more specific data points and comparisons between the age groups. For example, you could mention the significant difference in the importance of 'Family relationships' between the two groups. Also, avoid vague statements like 'Some people preferred...' and instead quantify these preferences with the percentages provided. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key features, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping similar ideas together and using more precise transition words to guide the reader through the comparison of the two age groups. For example, you could dedicate separate paragraphs to each age group or compare and contrast their responses within the same paragraph. The final sentence is vague and could be more specific.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more varied and precise. While words like 'happy,' 'enjoyed,' and 'satisfied' are appropriate, consider using synonyms or more descriptive language to convey the nuances of the data. For instance, instead of 'makes them happy,' you could use 'contributes to their happiness' or 'is a source of contentment.' Also, avoid informal language such as 'makes them feel enjoyed'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'daily hobbies also makes them feel enjoyed' has subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing. 'People's preferences were not revealed' is vague and could be rephrased for clarity. Focus on using correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and clearer sentence structures to improve grammatical accuracy.

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Band 5+: The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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The pie charts show the proportion of water used for six products and income levels in 2004

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