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Band 6+: The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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The image presents two pie charts detailing survey results on happiness factors across age groups. For people under 30: "Achievement at work" is 31%, "Having a good lifestyle" 22%, "Traveling" 15%, "Doing hobbies" 18%, "Other factors" 14%. For people over 30: "Achievement at work" is 32%, "Family relationships" 30%, "Financial security" 20%, "Other factors" 8%, "Traveling" 10%.

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The two given pie charts give information about what makes individuals, who are under 30 and over 30 years old most happy.

Overall, both surveyed groups of people response that achievement at work makes is the most satisfying feature, however, other factors make them less satisfied among the remaining reasons. However, regarding people aged under 30, having a good appearance and traveling remain two of the five factors, which make them most happy, whereas people aged over 30 prefer doing hobbies and maintaing their finance instead.

31% of people who are under 30 response that their accomplisment at work makes them most happy, followed by doing hobbies, which accounted for 22%. Roughly one fourth of under 30 figures are satisfied by maintaing a good appearance, which is higher than those who loves travelling (15%) and those who enjoy other factor (14%)

Similarly, people who are older 30 years old also enjoy achieving accomplishment and doing hobbies most, respectively at 32% and 24%. However, instead of having a good appearance one fourth of this group of people prefers the financial maintance to provdide them happiness. Morever, 14% of them prioritise to stay home with their family over travel to destinations for satisfaction.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

under: 4

makes: 3

however: 3

appearance: 3

which: 3

doing: 3

hobbies: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie charts. The overview is acceptable, and the main features are identified. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data representation (e.g., 'doing hobbies, which accounted for 22%' is incorrect). To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and avoid generalizations that misrepresent the data. Also, the organization could be slightly improved by grouping similar points together for better flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate level of coherence and cohesion. The organization is generally clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow could be improved with better transitions between sentences and ideas. For instance, the shift from the overview to the detailed descriptions feels somewhat abrupt. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., 'makes them most happy'). Try to incorporate more varied and specific vocabulary related to satisfaction and priorities. For example, instead of 'makes them most happy,' you could use 'contributes significantly to their happiness' or 'is a primary source of contentment.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity in several places. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('people response'), incorrect word usage ('accomplisment'), and awkward phrasing ('financial maintance'). While the overall meaning is usually clear, these errors detract from the report's professionalism. Focus on proofreading carefully for common grammatical mistakes and refining sentence structures for better clarity.

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Band 6+: The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

The charts below show athe results of a survey about what people of different age group say makes them most happy.

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The charts below illustrate which of 3 fast-food restaurants were the most preferred amongst teenagers in Vietnam and Indonesia in 2017 and predictions for 2027.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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