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Band 6+: Task 1: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: Task 1: The charts below give information about players of electronic games in South Korea in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents three pie charts about players. The "Age of players" chart shows: Under 18 at 39%, 18 - 36+ at 38%, and Above 36 at 23%. The "Gender of players" chart indicates: Male at 72% and Female at 28%. The "Type of games they like" chart displays preferences for: Action at 43%, Racing at 17%, Education at 7%, and Role-playing games at 7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the age, gender and type of games, which players were really into electronic games in South Korea in 2003.

Overall, males recorded the highest figure, while females had the lowest proportion. Additionally, action games were the most popular types, whereas other games accounted for the smallest percentage.

In terms of age, people under 18 age was the most common, at 39%, which was followed by 18-36 age and above 36+ at 38% and 23% respectively. Regarding gender, males took up 72% in the total players, which was significantly higher than females, just at 28%.

With types of game, action boasted the largest proportion, at 43%. Sport was the second-highest at 20%, followed by racing, standing at 17%. Meanwhile, role-playing games and education had identical figures of 7%, remaining type represented the smallest figure (6%).

Word Count: 138

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 5

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by presenting the main features of the charts and making relevant comparisons. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are a few inaccuracies and omissions: the age group '18-36+' is not precisely described, and the data for 'Sport' and 'remaining type' are not present in the visual description. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately reported and avoid introducing information not shown in the charts. Additionally, minor grammatical adjustments, such as 'people under 18' instead of 'people under 18 age', would enhance clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression. The overall structure is effective, but there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition from the age/gender paragraph to the game types paragraph. Additionally, the phrase 'which was followed by 18-36 age and above 36+ at 38% and 23% respectively' could be more smoothly integrated. To improve, use more cohesive devices like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' to link ideas across paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to the overall summary.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'illustrate', 'accounted for', 'boasted', and 'identical figures'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, e.g., 'which players were really into electronic games' is informal and unclear, and 'remaining type represented the smallest figure' is slightly awkward. To improve, use more precise and formal language, such as 'the proportion of players who engaged in electronic games' and 'the remaining category accounted for the smallest proportion'. Also, avoid informal expressions like 'really into'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'people under 18 age' should be 'people under the age of 18', and 'above 36+' is redundant. Additionally, 'Sport was the second-highest at 20%' is not supported by the data (the visual description indicates Racing at 17% and no Sport category), which is a factual error. The sentence 'males took up 72% in the total players' is awkward; it should be 'males accounted for 72% of the total players'. To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, use correct prepositions, and ensure all data mentioned is accurate. Also, vary sentence structures to include more complex forms, such as relative clauses and passive constructions.

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