Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows number of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in Gormez Straits from 2006 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows number of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in Gormez Straits from 2006 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows seal, whale, dolphin populations in Gomez Straits over several years: in 2006, seals 47, whales 23, dolphins 30; in 2010, seals 30, whales 20, dolphins 28; in 2014, seals 36, whales 18, dolphins 31; in 2018, seals 48, whales 27, dolphins 38.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Documented report on the number of Seal, Whale and Dolphin in Gomez Straits

The analysis of the population of seal, whale and dolphins in gomez straits from the bar chat is expounded in the next paragraph below.

In the year 2006, the population of seal was forty two which was more than the year 2010 which had twenty five. Also, the number of seals recorded in the year 2014 was thirty five which increased in the year 2018 to forty five. Furthermore, it was recorded for whales in the year 2006 having twenty five numbers, while in the year 2010, it was twenty seven. In addition, in the year 2014, whales reduced to twenty two while it significantly increased to twenty eight in the year 2018. Additionally, the number of dolphins that was recorded in the year 2006 was fiften, while it gradually increased to twenty one in the year 2010. Also, the number of dolphins progressively increased to thirty two in the year 2014 and continued to increase to fifty two in the year 2018.

My overall observation was that, the number of seals, dolphins and whale recorded in the year 2006, 2010 and 2018 in Gomez Straits differs.

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

twenty: 6

number: 5

dolphins: 4

recorded: 4

increased: 4

whale: 3

gomez: 3

which: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the data but contains significant inaccuracies and omissions. The writing is also quite repetitive and lacks clear organization. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, grouping information logically, and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. Also, ensure that all key features of the graph are addressed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overview and summary of the main trends. The information is presented as a series of individual data points without effectively grouping or comparing them. Paragraphing is present but doesn't fully support the organization of ideas. To improve coherence, consider starting with an overview paragraph that summarizes the main trends across all three species. Then, group the data into meaningful categories (e.g., periods of increase, decrease, or stability) to facilitate comparison. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There is an attempt to use descriptive language, but it is not always accurate or effective. For example, using 'expounded' is not the most appropriate choice in this context. To improve lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends and changes, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'peaked.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary you use is accurate and appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Punctuation is also not consistently accurate. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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