Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of New Zealander men and women who did regular physical activity in 2008 across different age groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of New Zealander men and women who did regular physical activity in 2008 across different age groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar graph illustrating percentages of New Zealander men and women engaged in regular physical activity in 2010 across various age groups: 14 to 23 shows 51.7% men, 46.5% women; 24 to 33 reveals 49.2% men, 43.1% women; 34 to 43 indicates 53.1% men, 38.8% women; 44 to 53 depicts 54.2% men, 42.9% women; 54 to 63 demonstrates 52.8% men, 44.7% women; 64 and above presents 47.2% men, 48.1% women.

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The bar charts illustrates us statistic on physical activity of New Zealander men and women groups in 2008 across both age groups.

Overall, most interest across young men and women from 14 to 23 aged, to sport activity have women group. Approximately 51.7 percents of this category that overtook men category almost at 4 percents. Sudenly with each aged gap women percents of physical activity sharply declined and steadily climb at senior age. In contrast men physical activity only markedly rise with each gap. Saw the most men activity at 44 to 54 years witch shows 54.2 percent

At the last category men and women faced together with same percent that shows same level of interest to physical activities. Also we can see same situation in first category, but there women overtook men by percents. Meanwhile in 34-43 age group, when women activities decreased men category almost reach the highest result

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 7

activity: 5

category: 5

physical: 4

percents: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some overall trends and makes some comparisons, but there are inaccuracies and a lack of clarity in the description of the data. The language used contains errors that affect the clarity of the message. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data references and use more precise language to describe the trends and comparisons. Also, ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity in sentence construction.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The information is not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the main points and comparisons. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate ideas. Consider organizing the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or age groups, and a concluding statement. Use cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, pronouns) to link ideas and sentences together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice and imprecise language. For example, 'most interest' is vague, and 'witch shows' is incorrect. Expand your vocabulary related to describing trends and data. Use more precise language to convey the information accurately. For example, instead of 'Sudenly with each aged gap women percents of physical activity sharply declined,' try 'The percentage of women engaging in physical activity decreased sharply in subsequent age groups.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and sentence structure problems. For example, 'The bar charts illustrates us statistic' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with punctuation and article usage. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves.

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