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Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of students in a secondary school who chose different foreign languages in 2005 and 2015.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of students in a secondary school who chose different foreign languages in 2005 and 2015.

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The image presents a table showing the percentage of students in a secondary school who chose different foreign languages for two years. For the year 2005, the data is: French 50%, German 30%, Spanish 20%, and Italian 10%. For the year 2015, the data is: French 35%, German 25%, Spanish 40%, and Italian 15%.

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The data demonstrates the proportion of learners in junior high school who chose a several foreigner languaes between 2005 to 2015.

Overall, French was the most chosen language in 2005, with german in the second place. Whilst Spanish and Italian faced their incresed in 2015 after they got lower than French and German in 2005.

The pupils mostly chose French to learn in 2005 with 50% that’s what make french the highest presentage. However french faced their declined in 2015 with just 35% and placed in the second place after Spanish. Whilst German faced their deacrased too in 2015 with just a quuarter learners who chose germanian language after they stood at 30% in 2005.

The most different is Spanish and Italian, both are experienced rose significant in 2015 after been the lowest in 2005. Spanish rechieved the most chosen in 2015, started witih just 20% to 40%. Whilst Italian faced a little bit increased like 5% over the period, but it was better than their first, learners who chose Italian just 10%.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

french: 5

chose: 4

spanish: 4

italian: 4

faced: 4

their: 4

after: 4

learners: 3

german: 3

whilst: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features and trends in the bar chart. The overall trends are identified, and specific data points are included to support the observations. To improve, ensure that the data is consistently accurate and that the language used is precise and avoids informal expressions. Also, the organization could be slightly improved by grouping similar trends together for better coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, using cohesive devices like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' can help connect ideas more smoothly. The organization could be more logical, perhaps grouping languages by their trends (increase/decrease) or discussing each language individually across both years.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary. While some appropriate words are used (e.g., 'proportion,' 'declined,' 'significant'), there is repetition and a lack of precision in word choice. For instance, 'foreigner languaes' should be 'foreign languages,' and 'rechieved' should be 'reached.' Expanding vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'increased significantly,' 'remained stable,' 'fluctuated') would improve the report. Also, avoid informal language such as 'that's what make french the highest presentage.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include incorrect verb tenses ('faced their incresed,' 'been the lowest'), subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect preposition use, and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'Whilst Spanish and Italian faced their incresed in 2015 after they got lower than French and German in 2005' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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