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Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
Our system will evaluate the answer based on this AI-generated description.
The image displays a bar chart with the percentage participation of men in senior development positions from 1980 to 2010, for IBM, Microsoft, and Apple. IBM: 1980 - 10%, 1985 - 15%, 1990 - 20%, 1995 - 30%, 2000 - 35%, 2010 - 65%. Microsoft: 1980 - 5%, 1985 - 10%, 1990 - 15%, 1995 - 20%, 2000 - 25%, 2010 - 35%. Apple: 1980 - 2%, 1985 - 5%, 1990 - 7%, 1995 - 10%, 2000 - 15%, 2010 - 25%. Each company shows a steady increase in the percentage of men in these roles over time, with particularly sharp increases from 2000 to 2010.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrated the percentage of men in senior development positions at IBM, Microsoft and Apple between 1980-2010.

Overall,all three companies experienced growth in male participation over the period, leading to a significant rise in total global turnover over the 30-year.

In 1980, Apple had the highest percentage at around 13%, while IBM and Microsoft were much lower, at around 2% and 7% respectively. Over the next 10 years, participation level had approached all three companies around 10%-15%.

In 1995 onwards, IBM began to increase, reaching about 25% in 1995 and rose sharply to more than 60% in 2010, Microsoft also rose, from 10% in 1990 to nearly 45% in 2010. Conversely, Apple had the highest figure in 1980 (around 13%), but in 2010 it had the lowest percentage engagement (⅓ as IBM did at the same time).

In conclusion, while IBM transformed from the lowest to the highest figure, Microsoft supported steady and significant progress, and Apple lagged behind despite an early lead.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

6
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
microsoft: 4
apple: 4
percentage: 3
highest: 3
around: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information. The data reporting is not always precise, and there are some misunderstandings of the initial data. To improve, focus on accurate data representation and avoid introducing extraneous information not present in the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

6
The report is generally coherent, but there are some issues with the flow of information and paragraphing. The second paragraph mentions 'total global turnover,' which is not relevant to the provided data, affecting coherence. The organization of information within paragraphs could be improved for better flow. For instance, grouping the data by company or by time period more consistently would enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

6
The report uses adequate vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Terms like 'participation level' and 'percentage engagement' are acceptable but could be more sophisticated. Consider using more precise language to describe the trends and data, and avoid repetition of similar phrases.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

6
The report contains grammatical errors and inaccuracies that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, 'Overall,all' should be corrected to 'Overall, all'. In the third paragraph, the data provided is inaccurate, and the sentence structure could be improved for clarity. Proofreading carefully and varying sentence structures would enhance grammatical accuracy.

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Band 4+

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Band 7+

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