Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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Image for topic: The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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The image depicts employment figures in thousands for five job sectors in Australia for 2001 and 2008. In 2001, sales accounted for 1,900,000; computing, 750,000; accounting, 950,000; nursing, 350,000; and farming, 200,000. By 2008, sales decreased to 1,600,000; computing rose to 1,200,000; accounting declined to 900,000; nursing doubled to 700,000; and farming remained at 200,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart provides a comprative analysis of a number of employees in five different types of work (sales, computing, accounting, nursing, and farming) in a region of Australia in two years (2001 and 2008).

Overall, what stands out in the graph is that in both years, a number of people employed had the highest amount in sales, whereas a number of people who worked in farming had the lowest figure. Also, in 2008 all branches expect from accounting had the highest employees number compared with that in 2001.

Looking at the details, it is clearly observed that a number of employees in sales reached a peak of 1.80.000 by 2001, with that of employees hitting at around 1,90,000. In terms of computing, the figure decreased to 1,00,000 and just above 1,00,000 in 2001 and 2008, respectively. In addition, the same figure was observed in nursing and farming, having the 40,000 and just under 40,000 workers in 2001, respectively.

On the other hand, accounting illustared an opposite trend, having more workers in 2001 than in 2008. The figure consisting of approximately 90,00,000 employees in the first year, while that of 80,00,000 people employeed.

Word Count: 193

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 5

employees: 5

figure: 4

accounting: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. Some of the numbers mentioned do not align with the provided visual description. The report also contains some language errors. To improve, ensure accurate data representation and proofread carefully for grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. The introduction provides a general overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. The 'Overall' paragraph is a good start, but it could be more insightful. The detailed analysis in the following paragraphs feels somewhat disjointed. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or comparison, and use transition words to connect ideas logically. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph to sectors that increased in employment and another to those that decreased or remained stable.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice. For instance, 'comprative analysis,' 'expect from accounting,' and the repetitive use of 'a number of employees' could be improved. To enhance lexical resource, try to use synonyms and more precise vocabulary related to employment trends and data analysis. For example, instead of 'a number of employees,' consider using 'the workforce,' 'the number of people employed,' or specific quantities. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for academic writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect verb tenses ('had the highest amount'), subject-verb agreement issues ('all branches expect from accounting had'), and awkward phrasing ('reached a peak of 1.80.000'). There are also issues with numerical representation (1.80.000, 1,90,000, 90,00,000). To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly and paying attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors in punctuation, spelling, and grammar. Also, pay close attention to how numbers are represented in writing.

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Band 5+: The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The bar chart shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

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