Bar Chart

Band 9: the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

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The image shows a bar chart on the percentage of Australian boys and girls in different after-school sport activities in 2010, with the following data: Swimming - Boys 13%, Girls 16%; Football - Boys 20%, Girls 4%; Netball - Boys 2%, Girls 17%; Basketball - Boys 8%, Girls 7%; and No sports - Boys 4%, Girls 5%.

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The bar graph illustrates the proportion of boys and girls in Australia who participated in sports activities across four different categories in 2010.

Overall, participation rates for boys and girls were relatively similar in swimming and basketball, whereas substantial differences were observed in the other two sports. A small number of young people did not take part in any of the sports shown.

In swimming, the figures for boys and girls were around 13% and just over 15%, respectively. In basketball, attendance for boys was approximately 8%, which was about 1 to 2% higher than that for girls.

The highest participation rate for boys was in football, accounting for 20%. In contrast, only just under 5% of girls showed interest in this category. The attendance rate for girls in netball was higher than any other sport activity, at around 17%, while just under 3% of boys were enrolled in netball.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 5

sports: 3

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Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the data for boys and girls across the sports categories. It provides a clear overview and includes specific figures, though some are slightly approximated. Minor omissions, such as not mentioning the 'No sports' category in detail, are acceptable. The report is well-structured and coherent, with a logical progression from overall trends to specific comparisons. To improve, ensure all categories are covered and data is presented with precise figures where possible.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is exceptionally well-organized and easy to follow. The introduction clearly paraphrases the task, and the overview effectively highlights key trends. The body paragraphs logically group similar data (swimming and basketball together, then football and netball), and the use of cohesive devices is natural and unobtrusive. Paragraphing is skillfully managed.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is precise, varied, and sophisticated. Words like 'proportion', 'participated', 'substantial differences', 'accounting for', and 'showed interest in' demonstrate a wide range of lexical items used accurately and naturally. The report avoids repetition and maintains a formal academic tone throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical structures are varied and used with full flexibility and control. The report includes complex sentences (e.g., 'The highest participation rate for boys was in football, accounting for 20%') and comparative structures ('higher than', 'about 1 to 2% higher than') without any errors. Punctuation is correct and appropriate.

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Band 9: the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

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Answers On The Same Topic:

the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

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