Bar Chart

Band 8+: the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

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The image shows a bar chart on the percentage of Australian boys and girls in different after-school sport activities in 2010, with the following data: Swimming - Boys 13%, Girls 16%; Football - Boys 20%, Girls 4%; Netball - Boys 2%, Girls 17%; Basketball - Boys 8%, Girls 7%; and No sports - Boys 4%, Girls 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian boys and girls who attended four different sports activities in 2010. It also shows the percentage of children who did not do any sport.

Overall, football was the most popular sport for boys, while netball was the most popular for girls. Swimming was also popular among both boys and girls. The number of children who did not participate in sports was quite low.

Looking at the details, 20% of boys played football, compared with only 4% of girls. On the other hand, about 17% of girls took part in netball, while only 2% of boys did this sport. Swimming was attended by 16% of girls and 13% of boys.

Basketball was similar for both genders. Around 8% of boys participated in basketball, compared with 7% of girls. Finally, only a small percentage of children did not play any sport. The figures were about 4% for boys and 5% for girls.

In conclusion, boys preferred football and girls preferred netball, while swimming and basketball were attended by both groups. Also, very few children did not take part in sports activities.

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

8.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 8

children: 4

percentage: 3

attended: 3

sports: 3

football: 3

popular: 3

sport: 3

while: 3

netball: 3

swimming: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report fully satisfies the requirements of the task. It provides a clear overview of the main trends, highlights key comparisons between genders, and accurately presents the data provided. The structure is logical, moving from a general overview to specific details, and the information is organized effectively. The inclusion of a concluding summary reinforces the main findings without being repetitive.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is exceptionally well-organized. The information flows logically from a general overview to specific details, and finally to a summary. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate different types of information, making the report very easy to follow. Cohesive devices are used naturally to link ideas, such as 'On the other hand' and 'Finally', without being repetitive or intrusive.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate, accurate, and varied. You have successfully used synonyms for participation, such as 'attended', 'played', 'took part in', and 'participated in', which prevents the writing from becoming repetitive. To reach a band 9, you could incorporate even more sophisticated academic collocations or more nuanced descriptors for the trends and comparisons. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical control is excellent. You have used a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures (e.g., using 'while' and 'compared with' to create complex comparisons). Punctuation is accurate throughout, and there are no errors that impede communication. The report demonstrates a high level of grammatical precision.

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Band 8+: the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

the bar chart shows the rate of attenders to the sport activities in boy and girls

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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