Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below gives information about global sales of game software, CD's and DVD's and video

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The image depicts a bar chart showcasing global sales in billion dollars for games software, DVD/video, and CDs from 2000 to 2003. In 2000: games software - 17, DVD/video - 18, CDs - 33. In 2001: games software - 20, DVD/video - 22, CDs - 31. In 2002: games software - 24, DVD/video - 30, CDs - 28. In 2003: games software - 28, DVD/video - 31, CDs - 25.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart depicts data on the number of global sales of software, CD’s and DVD/video’s over the 4 year period from 2000 to 2003.

Overall its is evident from the graph that CDs have the most sales.while games software has the least. Notably, all three games and DVD’s has shown an upward trend.

Regarding sales of CDs it has shown a slight downward trend dropping from 35 sales a year to slightly above 30 by the end of the period. However, sales of DVD’s has presented a significant upward trend starting from under 20 and being accounted for 30 sales per year in 2003.

As for the remaining, games software’s had a very slight increase from just above 10 in 2000 and slightly below 20 in 2003

Word Count: 129

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 5

games: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report mentions CD sales dropping from 35 to slightly above 30, but the initial value is 33. Similarly, the report states game software started 'just above 10' and ended 'slightly below 20', but the actual values are 17 and 28 respectively. These inaccuracies detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure data is accurately transcribed from the chart and double-check all figures before finalizing the report. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and identifies some trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases can help to connect sentences and paragraphs, making the overall structure more logical and easier to follow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. There are instances of repetitive language (e.g., 'sales'). To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and a wider range of vocabulary related to sales trends and data description. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'sales,' consider using terms like 'revenue,' 'turnover,' or 'market volume.' Also, use more precise language to describe the trends, such as 'increased significantly' or 'declined marginally.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Pay close attention to punctuation, especially commas and apostrophes. Review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully to minimize errors. For example, ensure that verb tenses are consistent and that sentences are complete and grammatically sound.

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