Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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The image contains a bar chart titled 'Skilled migrants to Australia, 2009-2012' with 4 occupation categories: Accountant, Cook, Software engineer, and Computer programmer. Each category has 4 bars representing different years with the following data: Accountant - 2009: 28 thousand workers, 2010: 22, 2011: 17, 2012: 18; Cook - 2009: 21, 2010: 17, 2011: 15, 2012: 16; Software engineer - 2009: 20, 2010: 19, 2011: 20, 2012: 19; Computer programmer - 2009: 17, 2010: 4, 2011: 2, 2012: 2. The y-axis is labeled 'In thousand workers' ranging from 0 to 30 in increments of 5.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates how many migrated employer who worked in various jobs in Australia from 2009 to 2012

Overall, it is clear that the figure for accountant was the highest, while more less migrants worked in computer programmer.

In 2009, the figure for accountant was 20,000, next year it reached to a peak at around 28,000 workers. However it declined to about 24,000 in 2011 and 2012. Moreover, around 17,000 of migrations wlrked in cooking occupation in 2009, but it fell slightly to 15,000 in 2010. After the declining, the figure rose to 18,000 in 2010. The migrations also declined to 16,000.

By contrarast, the figure for software engineer stood at around 19,000 and it rose to 21,000 in 2011. In 2012, it reached to about 17,000. Also, computer programmer workers were about 4,000 in the first year and it increased to 5,000 in the final year

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 4

around: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the data but contains inaccuracies and omits key information. The organization is not very clear, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically (e.g., by occupation or year), and using more precise language. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The information is not presented in a cohesive manner, making it difficult to follow the trends and comparisons between different occupations. Paragraphing is weak, and transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each address a specific aspect of the data (e.g., trends for each occupation, comparisons between occupations), and a concise conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice (e.g., 'migrations wlrked'). To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to describing trends (e.g., increased, decreased, fluctuated, remained stable) and comparing data (e.g., higher, lower, similar, different). Paraphrase information from the chart instead of directly copying it. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in article usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice writing different types of sentences (e.g., simple, compound, complex) to improve sentence variety.

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Band 4+: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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The graph shows the sales of five types items in four different seasons at a departmental store in the US in 2011 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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