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Band 6+: The chart below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents two pie charts comparing percentages of time spent on various activities by working adults in a specific country for the years 1958 and 2008. In 1958, working adults allocated their time as follows: Working 33%, Relaxing at home 8%, Sleeping 32%, Travel to work 2%, Going out with friends/family 19%, and Other interests or playing sports 6%. In 2008, the time distribution changed to: Working 42%, Relaxing at home 13%, Sleeping 25%, Travel to work 8%, Going out with friends/family 6%, and Other interests or playing sports 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of time employees used on various activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008.

Overall, it is very clear that Working is the most significant activity as it remained the dominant in both years, with 33% in 1958 and it rose sharply to 42% in 2008. In contrast, Sleeping experienced a considerably fell by 2008. Eventhough it was nearly as high as working in 1958.

In 2008, Relaxing at home and Travel to work both have slightly increased from 8% and 2% to 13% and 8% in 2008. whilst Playing sports has only a small rise from 6% to 8% in 2008.

One of the most significant changes was in Going out, It dramatically fell from 19% in 1958 to only 6% in 2008, with more than 12% percentages. Sleeping proportions also witnessed a dramatic fall with 7% percentages.

Overall, the data shows that Working affects activities like Sleeping and Going out. On the other hand, it allows employees to spend more time relaxing at home or play sports.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 3

sleeping: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, presenting the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons between the two years. There are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the exact percentage decrease in sleeping), and the language could be more precise and varied. To improve, focus on using more precise language when describing changes and ensure all data points are accurately represented. Also, try to vary your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The paragraphs are not always logically connected, and some sentences feel disjointed. For instance, the transition between the overall trends and the specific details in paragraphs 2 and 3 could be smoother. Consider using transition words and phrases to link ideas more effectively and create a more cohesive narrative. Also, avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'Eventhough'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for more precision and variety. While words like 'significant,' 'dominant,' and 'dramatically' are used, incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more specific terms could enhance the report. For example, instead of 'considerably fell,' you could use 'decreased substantially' or 'declined significantly.' Also, be careful about word choice; for instance, 'percentages' is redundant after stating a percentage. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('Sleeping experienced a considerably fell'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('with more than 12% percentages'). There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of 'whilst.' To improve, focus on proofreading carefully for these common errors and practicing sentence construction.

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Band 6+: The chart below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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