Bar Chart

Band 5+: the chart below shows the age when hearing loss begins for males and females in the USA

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The image shows a bar chart with age groups 5 and under, 6-19, 20-39, 40-59, 60-69, and 70 and over, displaying percentages of hearing loss onset for males and females; 5 and under: males ~1%, females ~2%; 6-19: males ~3%, females ~4%; 20-39: males ~7%, females ~6%; 40-59: males ~18%, females ~17%; 60-69: males ~32%, females ~27%; 70 and over: males ~23%, females ~20%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart illustrates the statistics of six different age groups when hearing loss begins for males and females in the USA. Measurments for genders are in percentages.

Overall, for both genders hearing loss begins mostly between the age of 40 and 59, showcasing approximately 34% for former and 32% for latter. Additionally, in all age groups, except for 20-39 and 40-59, hearing loss figures by women are higher than men.

Initially, both indicatos are almost the same but with a slight difference (0.5-1% higher for womens’) by being 2-2.5% at age 5 and under, and 11-12% at 6-19. However, the difference changes gradually at elderly age, showing female’s dominance, as the figures are 12% and 17% in 60-69 group, and 5.5% and 16% in 70 and over.

The only period when hearing loss by male population increases sharply is between 20-39, being 33%, while females’ is 20%. However, the latter gender almost catches up with the former in 40-59 age group, having grown by 12%.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hearing: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant data inaccuracies that obscure the overall trends. While the structure is appropriate, the specific figures cited in the body paragraphs (e.g., 33%, 20%, 11-12%) deviate significantly from the data provided in the visual description. This makes the description of trends unreliable. To improve, ensure that every number mentioned is directly supported by the visual data. Additionally, focus on grouping data logically to highlight comparisons rather than presenting isolated, inaccurate statistics.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report struggles with logical progression and clarity. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'Initially', 'However'), the way information is grouped is confusing. The transition between describing the general trend and specific data points is abrupt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the comparison between genders is handled systematically rather than jumping between different age groups in a way that disrupts the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and contains several errors that impede meaning. Words like 'indicatos', 'womens'', and 'former/latter' are used incorrectly or are misspelled. There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'female's dominance' and 'the latter gender almost catches up', which are not quite appropriate for an academic report. Aim to use more precise academic vocabulary for trends (e.g., 'prevalence', 'incidence', 'surpass') and ensure correct noun-adjective usage. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often obscure the intended meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, pluralization (e.g., 'womens'), and the use of articles. Sentence structures are often fragmented or incorrectly constructed, particularly when trying to present complex comparisons. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that comparative forms (e.g., 'higher than', 'more than') are used accurately within complete, grammatically sound sentences.

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