Bar Chart

Band 7+: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of immigrants to Germany by region in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The image presents a bar chart titled 'The number of immigrants to Germany in 2000 and 2010', with the vertical axis representing millions. Immigrant numbers for 2000 were: Oceania 16 million, Europe 30 million, Africa 6 million, America 23 million, East Asia 15 million, and South Asia 5.5 million. For 2010, the numbers were: Oceania 23 million, Europe 25 million, Africa 7.5 million, America 13 million, East Asia 24 million, and South Asia 5 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the number of immigrants who moved to Germany from six different regions during the period from 2000 to 2010.

In 2000, people who immigrated from Europe had by far the largest figure, constituting 30 million, while immigrants from South Asia had the smallest; with just slightly below Africa’s figure. Comparing the number of immigrants from Oceania and East Asia, their states differ by a narrow margin. The number of people who came from America was the second largest figure among all.

By 2010, the situation with immigrants from Europe changed noticeably, as there was a gradual decline, yet keeping their first position. A very similar phenomenon was observed with people who came to Germany from America, as their number in millions of people dropped approximately by half. There was a slight decrease in the number of people immigrated from South Asia. The opposite situation is seen with Oceania and East Asia where the overall number of immigrants went up considerably.

Overall, during the period from 2000 to 2010, the phenomenon with people immigrating to Germany changed significantly. Immigrants from Europe maintained their leadership and those from South Asia remained the smallest group. Noticeable shifts in the number of immigrants from other continents was spotted.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 7

immigrants: 7

people: 6

their: 4

germany: 3

europe: 3

figure: 3

south: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and highlighting the key trends and comparisons between the two years. The data is presented logically, and the grouping of information allows for a smooth comparison of the different regions. To improve, ensure that the overview is more specific regarding the general direction of the trends (e.g., mentioning which regions increased and which decreased) rather than just stating that changes occurred. Additionally, minor grammatical refinements in sentence structure would enhance the overall flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized into an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for each year), and an overview. The progression of ideas is clear. However, some cohesive devices and transitions could be more sophisticated. For instance, the transition between the description of 2000 and 2010 is functional but basic. To improve, try using more varied linking words to connect contrasting trends within sentences rather than starting new sentences abruptly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and covers the necessary range to describe trends (e.g., 'gradual decline', 'dropped approximately by half', 'went up considerably'). However, there is some repetition of words like 'figure' and 'number'. To reach a higher band, aim for more precise academic collocations and avoid slightly awkward phrasing such as 'the phenomenon with people immigrating' or 'their states differ'. Instead, use terms like 'the disparity between' or 'the gap between'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that affect the flow. For example, 'the number of people immigrated' should be 'the number of people who immigrated' or 'the number of immigrants'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency (e.g., 'Noticeable shifts... was spotted' should be 'were spotted'). Pay close attention to the use of relative clauses and ensure that singular/plural agreement is maintained throughout the report.

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