Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

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The image depicts a bar chart showing employment figures in five work types for an Australian region in 2001 and 2008; Sales: 180,000 (2001), 120,000 (2008); Accounting: 80,000 (2001), around 100,000 (2008); Computing: 60,000 (2001), 80,000 (2008); Nursing: 40,000 (2001), 60,000 (2008); Farming: 20,000 (2001), 20,000 (2008).

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The graph illustrates the number of employee in sales, accounting, computing, nursing, farming in region of Australia in two different years.

Overall, sales industry shows domination over other jobs, meanwhile, farming places last in both years. Accouting falls in numbers giving his second place, also equaling with nursing.

The jobs that increased since 2001 is sales, computing and nursing rising by minimum number of 5000 approximately. Computing upgraded the most from around 60000 to near 80000, moreover, taking over accountings place. Sales and nursing similarly increased to a 10000 and 8000, respectively. As a result, sales still dominates the industry and nursing equals with accounting.

The industrys that has decreased from 2001 to 2008 is accounting and farming. Accounting employed people numbers falls from around 62000 to 58000, giving up second place to computing in the end. Farming still stays last, and decreases even more by approximately 10000 in 2008.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 5

computing: 4

nursing: 4

farming: 4

accounting: 3

place: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the main features of the bar chart, but it contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the language contains errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is not always smooth. The introduction is brief but lacks a clear overview of the main trends. The body paragraphs contain some relevant information, but the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. Transitions between paragraphs are weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the overall argument. Consider using more cohesive devices and organizing the information more logically to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and some word choices are not entirely accurate or appropriate. There is some repetition of words and phrases, which can make the writing sound monotonous. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as synonyms and more specific terms. Also, pay attention to the accuracy of your word choices and use a dictionary or thesaurus to find better alternatives.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in sentence structure. These errors can make the writing difficult to understand at times. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct any errors. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a teacher or tutor.

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Band 5+: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008

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