Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of men and women who did various free-time activities in England.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of men and women who did various free-time activities in England.

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The image displays a horizontal bar graph showing percentages of men and women engaged in various activities: Watching TV - Women 80%, Men 78%; Spending time with family - Women 70%, Men 61%; Shopping - Women 65%, Men 40%; Doing sport/exercise - Women 20%, Men 45%; Reading - Women 50%, Men 30%; Using the Internet - Women 40%, Men 60%; Playing computer games - Women 12%, Men 35%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the proportion of females and males who participated in different leisure activities in England.

Overall, it is clear that watching TV and spending time with family were popular, while playing computer games was the least popular. Women were more likely to shop and spend time with family. In all other activities, men were more likely to participate.

As for watching TV, it was dominant. A vast majority of 80% agreed with that. When it comes to women, as many as 75% watched TV. In terms of spending time with family, the percentages for men and women were similar to those for watching TV, around 76% and 77%. Regarding shopping, the proportion of women was around 74%, higher than that of men, who rated about 30%.

Word Count: 128

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 4

watching: 3

family: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but contains inaccuracies in the data reported from the graph. The organization is acceptable, but the inaccuracies detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting and avoid generalizations that misrepresent the information provided in the graph. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a clear overview and identifies key trends. However, the organization could be improved by grouping activities with similar trends together. For example, discussing activities where women participate more first, followed by those where men participate more, would enhance coherence. Also, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses appropriate vocabulary to describe the data. However, there's room to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to reflect the nuances in the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' consider using 'proportion,' 'share,' or 'rate' to add variety. Also, avoid inaccuracies such as '76% and 77%' when the original data states '70% and 61%'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with very few errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally accurate. To further enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and varied verb tenses where appropriate. However, ensure that accuracy remains the priority when attempting more complex constructions. Also, avoid inaccuracies such as '75%' and '74%' when the original data states '80%' and '65%'

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