Pie Chart

Band 7+: The charts below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020,in two towns.

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The image presents employment data by sector for two towns (A and B) for the years 2009 and 2020 using pie charts. In Town A, 2009 data shows Manufacturing: 60%, Hospitality: 15%, Engineering: 17%, Teaching: 9%, while 2020 data shows Manufacturing: 60%, Hospitality: 20%, Engineering: 8%, Teaching: 11%. In Town B, 2009 data shows Manufacturing: 40%, Hospitality: 35%, Engineering: 15%, Teaching: 10%, while 2020 data shows Manufacturing: 25%, Hospitality: 20%, Engineering: 20%, Teaching: 35%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts show the distribution of employment in four sectors – manufacturing, hospitality, engineering, and teaching – in two towns (A and B) in 2009 and 2020.

At first glance, there was a small increase in the hospitality sector in both towns. It is also clear that Town A saw a strong rise in manufacturing jobs, while Town B experienced a noticeable decrease in this sector during the same period.

In 2009, engineering was the largest sector in Town A, making up about 60% of total employment. However, this number dropped sharply to just 17% in 2020. In contrast, the percentage of engineering workers in Town B stayed the same at around 35% in both years. In addition, manufacturing jobs in Town A increased significantly from 20% to 60%. On the other hand, Town B saw a decline in manufacturing employment, falling from 40% to 25%.

Both towns showed some growth in the hospitality sector. In Town A, the proportion rose from 15% in 2009 to 20% in 2020, while Town B also increased from 15% to 20%. Meanwhile, the teaching sector remained stable in both towns, with figures staying at around 10% in each year. Overall, these changes show different employment patterns in the two towns, especially in manufacturing and hospitality

Word Count: 213

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

manufacturing: 5

towns: 5

sector: 5

employment: 4

hospitality: 4

engineering: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but contains inaccuracies and omissions. The overview is weak, and the body paragraphs contain some incorrect data. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide a more comprehensive overview.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The information is presented in a logical order, making it easy to follow the trends in employment sectors across the two towns and years. To improve coherence, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, you could use 'similarly' or 'in contrast' to draw clearer parallels or distinctions between the towns' employment patterns. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined aspect of the data to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and changes in employment sectors. Terms like 'distribution,' 'noticeable decrease,' 'remained stable,' and 'employment patterns' are used appropriately. To further enhance lexical resource, try incorporating more specific vocabulary related to economic or employment trends. For example, instead of 'strong rise,' you could use 'significant surge' or 'substantial growth.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as varying how you describe percentage changes (e.g., 'increased,' 'grew,' 'rose').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a strong command of grammar with very few errors. The sentence structures are varied and appropriate for the task, enhancing the clarity and readability of the report. To further refine the grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to the precision of prepositions and articles, although these are already well-handled. Continue to maintain this high level of grammatical control in future reports.

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Band 7+: The charts below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020,in two towns.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020,in two towns.

The charts below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020,in two towns.

The charts below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020,in two towns.

The charts below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020,in two towns.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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