Pie Chart

Band 4+: The charts below show information on free-time activities taken by teenagers in a specific country both in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show information on free-time activities taken by teenagers in a specific country both in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts showing teenagers' free time activities in 2009 and 2019, with the following data: in 2009: sports 21%, television 19%, internet 12%, walking 8%, music 24%, cooking 16%; in 2019: sports 22%, television 38%, internet 3%, walking 8%, music 18%, cooking 11%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrate the percentage of youth who spent their free-time on various tasks in a particular country in 2009 and 2019.

It is clear that, most of the teenagers expend their free-time activities on music in a particular country in a year.

it is also noticeable that the percentage of teenagers who spent their free-time activities on internet in a particular country in a year.

Looking at the pie chart for more detail, the higehst portion of youths spent their free-time tasks on music at, 24%. the portion of free-time expend on sports which was the second highest in a particular year at, 21% in 2009, respectively. In 2009 television and cooking activities youths were spent only 19% and 16% in a particular country in a year 2009, respectively.

According to the pie chart , the highest portion of teenagers who expend free-time on internet at, 38% in a particular year in 2019. Similarly, In 2019 youths were spent their free-time on television at 22%, in 2019.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

free-time: 7

particular: 6

spent: 5

their: 5

country: 4

chart: 3

teenagers: 3

expend: 3

activities: 3

portion: 3

youths: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and omissions. Key data points are misreported (e.g., internet at 38% in 2019 instead of television, and television at 22% instead of sports), and the overview is vague and repetitive. The report fails to make clear comparisons between the two years and does not cover all activities. To improve, focus on accurately presenting the main trends, such as the rise in television viewing and the decline in internet use, and ensure all major data points are included with correct values.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction and two body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear references and repetitive phrasing. The overview is incomplete and does not clearly highlight the main trends. Cohesive devices are used in a limited and sometimes inaccurate way (e.g., 'Similarly' is used incorrectly). Paragraphing is present but not always logical, and the message is not always easy to follow. To improve, provide a clear overview of the main changes (e.g., the significant increase in television and decrease in internet), and use a range of linking words accurately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent use of phrases like 'in a particular country in a year' and 'free-time activities'. There are also errors in word choice (e.g., 'expend' instead of 'spend', 'higehst' instead of 'highest'). The range of vocabulary is narrow, and there is little attempt to use synonyms or more precise terms. To improve, use a wider range of vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'proportion', 'accounted for', 'represented', 'significant increase', 'decline') and avoid unnecessary repetition. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('The pie chart illustrate'), incorrect verb forms ('youths were spent'), and missing articles. There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect capitalization. The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences and some incomplete ideas. To improve, focus on using a variety of complex structures accurately, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for punctuation and article usage.

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