Bar Chart

Band 5+: The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001, and 2014.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001, and 2014.

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The image contains two bar charts displaying percentages of employed Australian men and women in three age groups (15-19, 35-44, 60-64) during 1984, 2001, and 2014. For men, the employment percentages in 1984 were 60% (15-19), 95% (35-44), and 60% (60-64), in 2001 they were 40% (15-19), 85% (35-44), and 55% (60-64), and in 2014 they were 50% (15-19), 85% (35-44), and 70% (60-64). For women, the employment percentages in 1984 were 40% (15-19), 60% (35-44), and 20% (60-64), in 2001 they were 40% (15-19), 75% (35-44), and 30% (60-64), and in 2014 they were 60% (15-19), 80% (35-44), and 50% (60-64).

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The bar charts illustrate the proportion of men and women in three different age categories who were employed in Australia in year 1984, 2001 and 2014.

For men the highest employment rate falled under the category of 35-44 age, which accounted for almost 90%, which remain steady for all the years. Likewise, for women the age group that peaked was 35-44 with least in the year 1984, which occupied about 58% and reached the highest point by 2014, around 79%.

In comparison, for both the men and women there was constant percentage of the employment between the age 15-19, highest in both the year 1984 and 2001 for men, approximately 60% which afterward fell down to 50% in the year 2014. But, for women in 1984 and 2001 it remained equal to 60% and with the similar pattern declined in 2014 around 2%. Further, it was seen that men and women in their 60s got more employed in 2014, men accounted for 55% and women made up 45%.

Overall, men and women in their late 30s are more employed,

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 7

which: 4

employed: 3

highest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the charts, providing relevant comparisons between the employment rates of men and women across different age groups and years. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the analysis could be more detailed. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide a more comprehensive analysis by including specific data points and trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents some main features, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information is sometimes difficult to follow due to a lack of clear transitions and logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and improve the overall coherence. Paragraphing could also be more effectively used to group related information and create a more structured response.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as 'proportion,' 'employment rate,' and 'age categories.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or varied. For example, using synonyms for 'percentage' or 'employment' could enhance the lexical resource. Additionally, ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for the academic context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. For example, 'falled' should be 'fell,' and there are inconsistencies in pronoun usage. While the report conveys the main points, improving grammatical accuracy would significantly enhance its overall quality. Proofreading carefully for errors and focusing on correct sentence structure is recommended.

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