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Band 4+: the charts below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

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The image shows two bar charts comparing employment percentages for men and women aged 60-64 in 2000 and 2020. For men, employment in Australia was 47% in 2000 and 74% in 2020; Japan 76% in 2000 and 84% in 2020; USA 55% in 2000 and 73% in 2020; Belgium 19% in 2000 and 28% in 2020. For women, employment in Australia was 19% in 2000 and 40% in 2020; Japan 28% in 2000 and 48% in 2020; USA 39% in 2000 and 43% in 2020; Belgium 7% in 2000 and 19% in 2020.

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The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female who are aged between 60-64 in employment in four different nations in 1970 and 2000.

overall, Men are outnumbered than women who are employed aged between 60-64 in both year 19780 and 2000. In 1970 there is no women got hired in belgium for employment (0%) meanwhile only 7% of men got their job.

In 2000, Japan has the highest percentage of employees in both men and women (76% and 40% respectively) at the same time Japan remains lead in the year 1970 as well who got employed in both genders(men 84% and women 43%). When considering USA, 55% of men employed in year 2000 while 73% men in 1970 on the other hand USA hired 38% of women in year 2000 meanwhile 36% of women in year 1970

relatively, men has the highest employement percentage in all four nations when comapring to women in 2000 and 1970

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 7

percentage: 3

employed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report demonstrates an attempt to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data provided in the charts. The information presented is not always relevant or appropriately selected, leading to a lack of clarity and coherence. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, ensuring that all figures and comparisons are correct. Also, organize the information more logically, perhaps by country or gender, to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is weak, and the flow of information is difficult to follow. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate ideas. The introduction and overall statement are present but lack clarity. Transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt, hindering the reader's understanding. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph, using transition words to connect ideas, and ensuring that the information is presented in a logical order.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which limits the precision and sophistication of the description. There is an attempt to use comparative language, but it is not always accurate or effective. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to employment trends and comparisons. Use synonyms and more precise language to describe the data and avoid repetition. Pay attention to the correct usage of words and collocations to ensure accuracy. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in preposition usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. Punctuation is also used inconsistently. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Practice writing clear and concise sentences to improve overall clarity.

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Band 4+: the charts below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

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Answers On The Same Topic:

the charts below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

the charts below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

the charts below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

the charts below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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