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Band 5+: The charts below show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year. Summarise the imformation selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year. Summarise the imformation selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two pie charts showing the percentage of secondary school students taking each subject. In 1985, subject distribution is Geography 30%, English 25%, Maths 20%, Science 12.5%, and Art 12.5%. Now, the distribution is Maths 35%, English 25%, Science 20%, Geography 8%, History 7%, and Art 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts illustrate the portion of secondary school pupils at a school in the UK pursuing various courses in 1995 and today.

Generally, there were 6 subjects in the past (RS, drama, geography, business, history, and art), whereas there are only 5 this year, with IT replacing both RS and drama, and becoming a new leader of the chart. Most of the subjects, such as drama, history, RS and art have experienced somewhat a downfall, while IT and geography have increased, and business has not change at all.

To commence with an uprising trend, the IT subject was not a thing in 1995, however it has gained a massive popularity these days, taking the lead from previous leader – history -occupying the share of 28%. Moreover, the geography subject also have gone up a little, increasing its portion in chart by 2%, 21% and 23% in 1995 and now, respectively. In addition, the part of students, who took business in 1995 and now, has not changed, staying at 16%.

On the contrary, the drama and the RS subjects have gone extinct completely, from 12% and 9% of scholars, respectively, pursuing these subjects in 1995, to no one taking them this year. The art subject’s popularity also decreased drastically, going from 15% in 1995 to 8% share today. Lastly, the percentage of students taking history course has also went down by 2%, becoming 25% now, when comparing to 27% in 1995.

Word Count: 242

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

subjects: 4

drama: 4

history: 4

geography: 3

business: 3

taking: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response attempts to address the task but includes inaccurate information and misinterprets the data presented in the pie charts. The description of the subjects and their changes over time contains several inaccuracies, which detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the charts and avoid introducing information not present in the visuals.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of information could be improved. The 'Generally' paragraph introduces inaccuracies regarding the subjects offered in the past and present, which confuses the reader. The subsequent paragraphs attempt to group subjects by increasing, unchanged, and decreasing trends, but the details provided contain inaccuracies and inconsistencies with the pie charts. To improve coherence, ensure the introductory overview accurately reflects the data, and that each paragraph focuses on a clear, verifiable trend supported by accurate data from the charts. Use precise language to describe changes and avoid generalizations that are not fully supported by the data.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise and accurate. For example, using 'portion' instead of 'percentage' is acceptable but less conventional in this context. Phrases like 'gone extinct completely' are overly dramatic and not suitable for academic writing. To enhance lexical resource, focus on using more precise and formal vocabulary related to data analysis and trends. Vary your language to describe changes (increase, decrease, remain stable) and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and inaccuracies affect clarity. There are errors in verb tense ('have increased' when 'increased' would be more appropriate), subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect preposition usage. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, carefully proofread your work for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Focus on constructing clear and concise sentences, and avoid overly complex structures that may lead to errors.

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