Multiple Graphs

Band 7+: The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time(excluding email). Summarise the information and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time(excluding email). Summarise the information and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing internet activity time percentages for two age groups. For ages 18-26: social networking 24%, accessing music/films 21%, making purchases 12%, researching health data 20%, playing games 18%, making bookings e.g. cinema/travel 5%. For ages 60-70: social networking 21%, accessing music/films 15%, making purchases 12%, researching health data 22%, playing games 5%, making bookings e.g. cinema/travel 25%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts demonstrate the proportion of time spent on different Internet activities by the youngsters and the elders, excluding email. Overall, it can be seen that young people tend to use the Internet mainly for social networking, whereas older individuals dedicate the largest share of their online time to make bookings.

Looking specifically, both charts virtually share a similar pattern in terms of social activities, purchase needs and health research. While the data for making purchases in both age groups account for the exact number at 12%, health research and social platforms record slight deviations. The enumerated categories both have a fluctuation from 2% to 3% in two generations with 20% and 22% for healthcare, 24% and 21% for social networking. It is also notable that the level of time consumed by social media makes up roughly a quarter of total time, meaning it is the most preferred activity on the Internet among young people.

By contrast, both age groups also have some incompatible aspects. The figure for music/films access share a proportion of 21% in youngsters and 15% in elders. Besides, games and booking represent the most recognizable differences in both charts, with a 13% hole in playing games and a 20% gap in booking activities. It is also evident that booking becomes the most popular Internet activity among old people with 25% of the time devoted to it.

Word Count: 232

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 5

internet: 4

charts: 3

activities: 3

share: 3

booking: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons between the two age groups. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. The data is mostly accurate, and minor deviations in percentages are acceptable. To improve, ensure that all key data points are included and that comparisons are made more explicitly. Additionally, refine the language for precision and avoid informal expressions such as 'a 13% hole' and 'a 20% gap' - use more formal terms like 'a difference of 13 percentage points' and 'a gap of 20 percentage points.' The report could also benefit from a more balanced discussion of all categories, ensuring that no significant data is omitted. Overall, the response is well-organized and meets the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the flow could be improved by using more varied linking words and phrases. For instance, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within paragraphs are logically connected. Consider using cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'furthermore' to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'youngsters' and 'elders', 'dedicate the largest share'). However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice that could be refined. For example, 'the enumerated categories both have a fluctuation' is unclear and could be rephrased. Aim for more precise and natural collocations, such as 'account for' instead of 'account for the exact number'. Additionally, vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition and ensure that terms like 'proportion' and 'percentage' are used interchangeably where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and complex sentences. However, there are some errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity. For example, 'the data for making purchases in both age groups account for the exact number' should be 'the data for making purchases in both age groups account for the exact same percentage'. Also, 'with a 13% hole in playing games' is unclear and should be rephrased. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Overall, the grammar is mostly accurate, but these issues prevent a higher score.

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