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Band 5+: The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time(excluding email). Summarise the information and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of time younger and older people spend on various Internet activities in their free time(excluding email). Summarise the information and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing internet activity time percentages for two age groups. For ages 18-26: social networking 24%, accessing music/films 21%, making purchases 12%, researching health data 20%, playing games 18%, making bookings e.g. cinema/travel 5%. For ages 60-70: social networking 21%, accessing music/films 15%, making purchases 12%, researching health data 22%, playing games 5%, making bookings e.g. cinema/travel 25%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pictures below compare percentages of time between two groups who spent their time on some internet activities. These groups include

youngers who are 18-26 ages and adults who are 60-70 ages.

Overall, in both groups they mostly do research especially about health. Youngers use their 20% and adults use their 26% of time in the internet to search about health.

And also, there are noticeable differences between others too, for instance, making bookings for travel or to the cinema. Most of the youngers use their 5% of time to book however adults will be on the internet using their 29% of time. But younger listen more than adults. They also watch films more than adults.

and adults purchase something more than younger because there is given that adults use 14% of their time on the internet in order to buy something. Youngers use most of their time on social media compared to adults.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 7

adults: 7

internet: 4

groups: 3

youngers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by comparing the two age groups and identifying some main features, such as health research and bookings. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., adults' health research at 26% instead of 22%, bookings at 29% instead of 25%, purchases at 14% instead of 12%). The structure could be improved with clearer paragraphing and more precise language. Avoid informal phrasing like 'youngers' and 'adults will be on the internet using their 29% of time.' Focus on accurate data representation and logical comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present an overall comparison and some specific details, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. The paragraphing is not effectively managed, and the message is not always easy to follow. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that comparisons are logically sequenced. Cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'while' should be used more naturally to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive (e.g., 'youngers', 'adults', 'use their time'). There is limited range and some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'youngers' instead of 'younger people' or 'the younger age group'). To improve, use a wider variety of precise terms such as 'the younger demographic', 'senior users', 'engage in', 'allocate time to', and 'account for'. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure terms are used accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which significantly affect clarity. Examples include incorrect plural forms ('youngers'), subject-verb agreement issues ('adults will be on the internet using'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent (e.g., missing capital letters). To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) and proofread for basic grammar and punctuation. Focus on accurate tense usage and correct noun forms.

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