Pie Chart

Band 7+: The charts below show the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008

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The image presents two pie charts comparing the distribution of people's total spending in a European country for 1958 and 2008. In 1958, the spending distribution is: Housing 22%, Food 32%, Clothing 18%, Travel/transport 8%, Entertainment 13%, Luxury goods 7%. In 2008, the spending distribution is: Housing 32%, Food 12%, Clothing 16%, Travel/transport 17%, Entertainment 18%, Luxury goods 6%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts provide information about the proportion of the population’s total spending on various goods and services in a particular European country over two separate years, 1958 and 2008.

Overall, there was an increase in the percentage of housing, luxury goods, and travel/transport, while a decrease was seen in food, clothing, and entertainment.

Beginning with the subjects that recorded growth, the figure for travel/transport stood at 8% in 1958, after which it saw almost doubled in 2008. Additionally, the proportion of housing and luxury goods rose by same amount, growing from 22% and 7% to reach 32% and 17% respectively by 2008.

Conversely, the figure for entertainment was seen a double decline throughout the period. It stood at 13%, achieving 6% during the 50 years. Moreover, the proportion of food surprisingly decreased from 32% to 12%. Similar, changes can be seen in the figure for food, which a slight fall from 18% at the beginning of the period to 16% in 2008.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 3

goods: 3

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key trends in spending patterns between 1958 and 2008. There are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., luxury goods and entertainment figures). To improve, ensure all data is accurate and pay attention to detail. Also, avoid using the same phrasing repeatedly (e.g., 'the figure for').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. The progression of ideas is logical, and the use of cohesive devices is adequate. However, there are instances where the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, in the third paragraph, explicitly stating the increase in luxury goods would improve clarity. Also, the final sentence feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding sentence about food.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. Terms like 'proportion,' 'various,' 'recorded growth,' and 'conversely' are used effectively. However, there's room for more sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the writing further. For instance, instead of 'saw almost doubled,' consider using 'nearly doubled' or 'increased substantially.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Specifically, 'the figure for entertainment was seen a double decline' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'saw a double decline'. Also, 'Similar, changes can be seen in the figure for food' contains a punctuation error and an awkward phrasing. It should be 'Similarly, changes can be seen in the figure for clothing' and 'which a slight fall' should be 'with a slight fall'. Addressing these errors would significantly improve the grammatical accuracy.

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