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Band 4+: The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

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Image for topic: The charts detail the proportions of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed,employed or further education in 1980,1990 and 2000.

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The image depicts three pie charts that represent the proportions of unemployed, employed, and further education-seeking Australian secondary school graduates in 1980, 1990, and 2000. In 1980, 50% were employed, 40% in further education, and 10% unemployed. In 1990, 50% were employed, 38% in further education, and 12% unemployed. In 2000, 55% were employed, 37% in further education, and 8% unemployed.

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In the given visual representation, the pie chart illustes the proportion of young Australians who left the territory school and pursue different careers in the years 1980 to 2000.

Overall, the most noticeable trend is that the percentage of employment sector was continue to rise over the years. In contrast, unemployed students percentage was consistently on the lower side.

In 1980, although further education was almost the half percent as compared to other sectors but it experienced a 2% low in the following years.

On the contrary, unemployed category was on the lower percentage which is at 10% in 1980. Moreover, In 1980 and 1990 employed sector percentage was increasing throughout the period which is 40% and 50% respectively.

Word Count: 119

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 4

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Task Response

The report identifies some key trends but contains inaccuracies and lacks detail. The language is not always accurate, and there are grammatical errors. To improve, focus on providing more specific data and use more precise language. Also, ensure that all data points are accurately represented and avoid generalizations. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas could be clearer. The overview is present but could be more impactful by summarizing the key trends more succinctly. The connection between sentences and paragraphs needs improvement to enhance the flow of information. Consider using transition words and phrases to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('territory school,' 'almost the half percent'). To improve, focus on using more specific and varied vocabulary related to proportions, trends, and employment/education sectors. Paraphrasing could also be more effectively employed to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('was continue to rise'), subject-verb agreement issues ('percentage of employment sector was'), and incorrect use of articles ('the territory school'). Sentence structure is also somewhat basic. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.

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