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Band 6+: The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains four pie charts showing tourism distributions in Australia and Germany for 1960 and 2010. In 1960, Australia's tourism was comprised of Europe 53%, Britain 25%, USA 12%, and Asia 10%; by 2010, Europe decreased to 10%, Britain shrunk to 3%, USA fell to 7%, while Asia grew significantly to 63%. Germany in 1960 had Europe at 45%, Britain at 25%, USA at 20%, and Asia at 10%; by 2010, Europe slightly decreased to 40%, Britain diminished to 8%, USA lowered to 12%, and Asia more than doubled to 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates information about the change in tourism within 5 decades starting from 1960 to 2010 in Australia and Germany.

Overall, it’s clear that in the initial years, both countrys’ most travelers were from Europe and coming to an end of the period, in Australia European travellers decreased dramatically from 55 percentages to 10 , however Germany just loosed 3 percentages. As a regarding to Australia, in the beginning of the given period, tourists from Asia were the least one comparing to other countries while in 2010, Asians showed rapid increase and hit the peak with 65 percentages dominating the diagram.

On the other hand, Germany’s tourism witnessed a minimal change in preference to Australia and focusing on the increases, the number of travellers from USA and Asia slightly rose from 25 to 29 and from 10 to 25 . By the contrast, the percentage of tourists from Europe declined slightly from 45 to 42 ,whereas there was a significant fall from 20 to 6 in the percentages of travellers from Britain.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

australia: 4

percentages: 4

travellers: 3

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Task Response

The report covers the main features of the charts and makes relevant comparisons. There are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., 55 percentages to 10, 25 to 29, 45 to 42, 20 to 6), and some awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure data accuracy and pay attention to sentence structure and word choice for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, making it harder to follow the comparisons between Australia and Germany. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smoother transition between different points. Paragraphing is acceptable but could be more effectively used to group related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit awkward or imprecise. For instance, 'coming to an end of the period' could be rephrased for better impact. Aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends and changes, and ensure that your word choices accurately reflect the data presented in the charts.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect use of articles, and awkward sentence structures are present. For example, 'both countrys' should be 'both countries','As a regarding to Australia' is not idiomatic. While the overall meaning is understandable, these errors detract from the report's professionalism and impact. Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy and sentence construction to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your writing.

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