Bar Chart

Band 6+: The diagram below shows information on Canada's 12 largest aboriginal communities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows information on Canada's 12 largest aboriginal communities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays Canada’s 12 largest urban aboriginal and metropolitan areas, 1996 census, measured in thousands: Victoria holds 5k, Vancouver shows 36k, Calgary indicates 10k, Edmonton records 30k, Saskatoon presents 9k, Regina logs 6k, Prince Albert exhibits 8k, Winnipeg reaches 41k, Thunder Bay accounts for 7k, Toronto depicts 12k, Ottawa-Hull details 10k, and Montreal shows 10k.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart compares and contrasts differences on the number of citizens who lived 12 biggest aborigonal and undergroud areas, which is measured in ‘000s, in 1996.

An overwiew of the diagram shows that there are 3 areas that markedly constrast with all communities.

More specifically, there is a population of around 46 thousand people in the largest populated area, Winnipeg, by comparing it with the second populated community, Edmonston, there is the difference of 13 thousand humans. Its figure slightly outnumbered the figure of Vancover which is at little above 30 thousand. The rest communities are much lower than the higher ones and range from 6 to 16 thousand. The largest ones of them, Calgary, Saskaton and Toronto, are 3 times smaller than the main area of the diagram. There is the smallest figure of citizens in Victoria state of slightly over 6 thousand.

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thousand: 5

there: 4

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the diagram and makes some relevant comparisons. However, there are some areas for improvement. The overview could be more concise and focused on the most significant trends. Also, while the report mentions some specific figures, it could benefit from more precise data references to support the comparisons. Additionally, ensure accurate spelling and grammar throughout the report to enhance clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow could be improved. The overview is present but could be more concise and impactful. Transitions between sentences and ideas need strengthening to enhance coherence. For example, the connections between the overview and the specific details could be clearer. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise ('undergroud areas,' 'Edmonston,' 'Vancover'). Some phrases are not entirely natural ('difference of 13 thousand humans,' 'slightly outnumbered the figure of Vancover'). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on more accurate and natural phrasing would improve this area.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('there is a population'), incorrect word forms ('aborigonal'), and awkward sentence structures. While a variety of sentence structures are attempted, accuracy needs improvement. Focus on proofreading carefully to identify and correct grammatical errors.

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