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Band 5+: the diagrams give information about the changes in a student accomodating building

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The image displays two floor plans for a student accommodating building for 2010 and 'Now'. In 2010, the building consisted of a main entrance, hallway, 1 living room, 1 kitchen, 1 bathroom, and 3 student-bedrooms, surrounded by a garden on three sides. The 'Now' plan shows the same main entrance and hallway, with the living room converted into 2 student-bedrooms, increasing the total to 5 student-bedrooms. The kitchen has become a kitchen/social area, one student-bedroom now has an en-suite room, and a garden area has been replaced by car parking, leaving gardens on two sides.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The maps depict how pupil’s accommodating infrastructure has altered since 2010.

Overall, it is evident that there has been dramatic changes over time. Besides, there has an introduction of a new student accommodation, particularly is a bedroom where pupil can rest after going-to school day while the disappearance of a garden is a significant point

On the left side, the garden to the north-west corner was demolished to make way for the student- bedroom whilst the same functional room has located to the west since 2010. In addition, there was a disappearance of living room where students can take a nap, replaced by an one more bedroom in the north of the map. Subsequently, the bathroom where children can do hygiene still exists nowadays.

On the right side, there is an introduction of en-suit room which is next to the bedroom located to south-east corner strategically. At the same time, the car parking has been constructed outside the building, fostering the natural scenery. In addition, the kitchen located to the east was applied to become a complex area with social area where students can access the internet. Finally, the remained categories comprising hallway, main entrance have existed since 2010.

Word Count: 199

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 4

bedroom: 4

where: 4

since: 3

located: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task, describing the changes to the student accommodation building. However, the organization could be improved for clarity, and there are some issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on structuring the report more logically, perhaps by grouping changes by area or function. Also, pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and use a wider range of vocabulary to describe the changes more precisely.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences feel disconnected. Consider using more varied transition words and phrases to improve the connection between ideas. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'In addition,' try 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'Similarly.' Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the changes to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat basic and repetitive. While the report conveys the main points, it lacks the sophistication and precision expected for a higher band score. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('pupil's accommodating infrastructure,' 'en-suit room,' 'fostering the natural scenery'). To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to building layouts, renovations, and facilities. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for overused words like 'change,' 'introduction,' and 'disappearance.' Pay attention to collocations and ensure that the words you choose fit the context appropriately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include incorrect verb tenses ('has altered,' 'there has an introduction'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the garden...was demolished'), and awkward phrasing ('going-to school day,' 'one more bedroom in the north of the map,' 'remained categories comprising'). There are also issues with article usage ('a bedroom where pupil can rest,' 'the student- bedroom'). To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting it.

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