Bar Chart

Band 5+: The graph below shows the percentage of adults according to age and gender who do not do any physical activity in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the percentage of adults according to age and gender who do not do any physical activity in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a bar graph depicting the percentage of Australian adults by age group and gender who do not engage in physical activity; Male: 15-24 (20%), 25-34 (30%), 35-44 (35%), 45-54 (40%), 55-64 (45%), 65-74 (50%), 75+ (55%); Female: 15-24 (25%), 25-34 (30%), 35-44 (33%), 45-54 (42%), 55-64 (48%), 65-74 (55%), 75+ (60%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar charts illustrate the inactive physical activity in Austrilian adults,base on gender and age, in 2004.

Overall, there are significant different between men and women.In men, the higgest inactivity is the 55-64 age group while in women, 75+ takes to lead.It also notable that 15-64 age group is the least inactive for both gender.

In 15-24 age group,the 20% and 40% are men and women respectively doing no physical activity.Regraing 55-64 age group, 45% of women are inactive, whereas in women 64 % has this pereferance.When it comes to 75+, around 45 % men is active but the higgest 62 % women do not emerge physical activity.

For 25-64 age group, the figures are approximately 20% in men and 22 % women respecticely.As for 35-64 the proportion are equally for men and women. Figure out 45-64,the active in physical exercies are 42 %and 35% men and women respectively.The data for 65-64 age group, the ratio of doing no physical activity are 42% and 43% men and women respectively.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 9

physical: 5

group: 5

inactive: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. The report would benefit from more accurate data reporting and a clearer focus on the main trends and comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always smooth. The introduction and overall summary are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and logical flow. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' can help connect ideas more effectively. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is some repetition of words and phrases, which limits the report's sophistication. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and proportions. For instance, instead of 'significant different,' consider using 'notable disparity' or 'marked difference.' Also, avoid informal language and aim for more academic phrasing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using grammar resources to identify and correct mistakes. Pay attention to the correct use of punctuation to enhance clarity.

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