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Band 6+: The graph below shows the percentage of people who traveled by bus in thr UK from 2009 to 2011.

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The image contains a table with percentages of people who traveled by bus in the UK from 2009 to 2011; for 2009: Shopping 65%, Study 4%, Work 5%, Visiting friends 19%, Day tour 7%; for 2010: Shopping 56%, Study 9%, Work 2%, Visiting friends 19%, Day tour 12%; for 2011: Shopping 51%, Study 9%, Work 2%, Visiting friends 23%, Day tour 12%.

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The given table illustrates the proportion of people who travelled by bus for various perposes between 2009 and 2011.

Overall, it can be seen that the bus was the most preferred mode for going shopping and least preferred mode for going walk. Also, the use of bus for shopping and work became less, whereas for the day tour, visiting friends and study it increased over the given time.

In 2009, 65% of people used bus for went to shopping. This percentage dropped significantly and reached 51% by 2011. Nearly a fifth used bus for visiting friends in 2009 and 2010. This percentage increased slightly and in 2011, when just a quater of people used the bus for this perpose.

Comuting for work by bus was done 5%, in 2009. This percentage dropped significantly and by 2011, no one used bus for going work. Using the bus for study and day tour showed similar changes, but the use of bus for day tour was done by about 3% more people in all the given years.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

given: 3

going: 3

shopping: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key trends and data points from the table. However, there are some omissions and inaccuracies. For instance, the report mentions that the bus was the least preferred mode for going 'walk,' which is not accurate based on the provided data. Also, the statement 'by 2011, no one used bus for going work' is inaccurate. To improve, ensure all data references are accurate and complete. Consider including more specific comparisons between the categories to enhance the analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph attempts to summarize trends, but some statements are inaccurate ('least preferred mode for going walk') or unclear. The subsequent paragraphs present data, but the connections between them could be stronger. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader and improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, you could use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' to link related ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are slightly awkward ('various perposes,' 'Comuting for work by bus was done 5%'). Try to use more precise vocabulary related to trends and changes (e.g., 'declined,' 'increased,' 'remained stable'). Also, avoid repeating the same words or phrases too frequently; look for synonyms to add variety. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include incorrect verb forms ('went to shopping'), subject-verb agreement issues ('a quater of people used the bus'), and awkward sentence structures ('Using the bus for study and day tour showed similar changes'). Pay close attention to verb tenses, article usage, and sentence construction. Proofreading carefully and focusing on correcting these errors will significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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