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Band 4+: THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATES IN THREE COUNTRIES FROM 1990 TO 2004

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The image presents a line graph depicting unemployment rates (%) from 1990 to 2004 for UK, USA, and Japan; UK data: 6% (1990), 6.2% (1992), 5.4% (1994), 5.5% (1996), 4.8% (1998), 4% (2000), 4.5% (2002), 4.7% (2004); USA data: 5.5% (1990), 7.0% (1992), 5.2% (1994), 5.4% (1996), 4.3% (1998), 4% (2000), 5.3% (2002), 5.5% (2004); Japan data: 2% (1990), 2.1% (1992), 2.9% (1994), 3.4% (1996), 4.1% (1998), 4.7% (2000), 5.4% (2002), 4.8% (2004).

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The given graph represents the less opportunity ratio of people in the three nations UK, USA and Japan from1990 to 2004 0ver the duration of 14 years and unit is measured in the percentage. As an overall trend, it can be seen that the the ratio of unemployment in Japan decreased from the 1990 to 2004 and the percentage of unemployment in the USA increased from the 1990 to 2004 and in the UK the amount of less working people also decresed from 1990 to 2004.

As an general trend, it could be seen that the ratio of unemployment in the Japan was 2% in 1990 and the 2.5% people of USA unemployed in the 1990 on the other hand in the third country the percentage of no working people 4.1% in the UK in 1990.

Categoricaly speaking, the ratio of unemployed people in USA was 5.9% in 2000 and the 2% individuals unemployed in the UK in 2000 and in the Japan 3% people unemployed in 2000.

The main striking point shows in Japan the percentage of unemployment dramatically decreased 1.1% in 2004.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

japan: 5

ratio: 4

percentage: 4

unemployment: 4

unemployed: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the general trends and some specific data points, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions that detract from its effectiveness. The overall trends are incorrectly stated (e.g., Japan's unemployment is said to have decreased, but it actually increased; the UK's trend is also misrepresented). Specific figures are often wrong (e.g., USA 2.5% in 1990, UK 4.1% in 1990, USA 5.9% in 2000, UK 2% in 2000, Japan 3% in 2000, and Japan 1.1% in 2004). The report also lacks a clear structure, with an awkward introduction and a brief, incomplete conclusion. To improve, focus on accurately summarizing the main trends, providing correct data, and organizing the information logically with clear overview and detailed paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow is often disrupted by unclear references and abrupt transitions. The overall trend is mentioned, but the progression of ideas is not smooth, and some sentences are repetitive or confusing. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Additionally, use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'overall') to link ideas more effectively, and avoid repeating the same information in different sections.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes imprecise. For example, 'less opportunity ratio' and 'no working people' are awkward and not standard for describing unemployment. There is also repetition of phrases like 'the ratio of unemployment' and 'from 1990 to 2004'. To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary, such as 'unemployment rate', 'decline', 'rise', 'fluctuate', 'peak', and 'dip'. Also, vary sentence structures and avoid overusing the same terms. Ensure that all terms are used accurately and appropriately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that significantly affect clarity. Examples include missing spaces ('from1990'), incorrect verb forms ('decreased' vs. 'decrease'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward phrasing. There is also a lack of variety in sentence structures, with many simple and repetitive sentences. To improve, focus on using a range of complex structures (e.g., subordinate clauses, conditionals) and ensure that grammar and punctuation are accurate throughout. Proofreading the report to correct basic errors is essential.

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