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Band 6+: The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales.

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Image for topic: The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales.

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The image depicts musical instrument sales in the UK from 2008-09 to 2020-21 showing percentage of total sales for Guitars, Drums and percussion, Trumpets, Pianos: 2008-09: Guitars 15%, Drums 9%, Trumpets 10%, Pianos 4%, 2010-11: Guitars 16%, Drums 8%, Trumpets 10%, Pianos 4%, 2012-13: Guitars 14%, Drums 9%, Trumpets 10%, Pianos 3%, 2014-15: Guitars 15%, Drums 10%, Trumpets 10%, Pianos 2%, 2016-17: Guitars 23%, Drums 13%, Trumpets 11%, Pianos 4%, 2018-19: Guitars 20%, Drums 10%, Trumpets 8%, Pianos 6%, 2020-21: Guitars 16%, Drums 9%, Trumpets 7%, Pianos 7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph illustrates the market shares of musical instruments in the UK over the period from 2008 to 2021

Overall, all figures experienced some fluctuations before ending the period with a marginal decline.

To begin with, the market share of guitars sales dropped from approximately 16% to around 11 % in 2010-2011. However, this figure experienced a significant soar in 2016-2017 reaching nearly 25% which was the highest among all categories. In the following years it declined to roughly 11 % in 2020-2021. The percentage of piano sales showed a downward trend throughout the period falling from around nine % to under five %.

What’s more, drums and percussion were the second most sold musical instruments in 2008 with roughly 13%, however dropped sharply to under 5% in 2013 and remained under this level for the most of the period. In addition, the figure for trumpets shares dramatically decreased to around one% in 2014-2015, however, this index increased in the following years and reaching just above five % in 2020-2021.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

period: 4

around: 3

however: 3

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes some comparisons, fulfilling the task requirements. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported, and the description could be more precise. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider using more specific language to describe changes and trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The transitions between different instrument categories feel somewhat abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and create a smoother narrative. For example, when transitioning between instruments, you could use phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' to highlight comparisons or differences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'fluctuations,' 'marginal decline,' and 'significant soar' are used, the report could benefit from a wider range of synonyms and more specific language to describe the trends. For instance, instead of 'dropped sharply,' you could use 'plummeted' or 'decreased substantially.' Also, avoid using the word 'figure' too often; try to replace it with more specific terms like 'sales' or 'percentage'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, in the second paragraph, 'the market share of guitars sales dropped from approximately 16% to around 11 % in 2010-2011' is awkward. It should be 'the market share of guitar sales'. Also, the tense usage and subject-verb agreement need attention. Review the report carefully for these errors and consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct them.

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