Bar Chart

Band 6+: The graph shows the percentage of males aged 16-25 in a particular country who prefer watching sports to males who prefer participating in sports. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph shows the percentage of males aged 16-25 in a particular country who prefer watching sports to males who prefer participating in sports. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image is a bar chart showing percentages for Watching and Participating in various sports. The data is as follows: Football (Watching: 45%, Participating: 10%), Rugby (Watching: 30%, Participating: 20%), Basketball (Watching: 38%, Participating: 25%), Badminton (Watching: 29%, Participating: 25%), Fishing (Watching: 15%, Participating: 50%), and Horse riding and racing (Watching: 45%, Participating: 18%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares the proportion of male aged 16-25 in a country preferring watching six sports with those wanting to join in them.

Overall, football and horse riding and racing reach the largest share of viewers while fishing records the highest proportion of participants. Additionally, the majority of males prefer watching sports games rather than participate in, except for fishing with reverse pattern.

Football and horse riding and racing attract the highest percentage of viewers and register a significant distribution pattern of. These two sports all record around 45% audiences while the figure for participants is much lower, with 10% and nearly a fifth, respectively.

Rugby, Basketball and Badminton all have more viewers than participants, whereas fishing witnesses a reverse pattern. A third of males aged 16-25 watch rugby while just 20% of those actually join in this sport. Similarly, there are roughly 40% males watch basketball, nearly 15% higher than the participants. Badminton, which the proportion of audiences and contestant are not much disproportionate, with about a third and a fourth, respectively.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

participants: 4

proportion: 3

sports: 3

viewers: 3

while: 3

fishing: 3

males: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between watching and participating. The overview is clear and highlights the key exceptions, such as fishing. To improve, ensure more precise grammatical structures, particularly in the final paragraph where some sentence constructions are slightly fragmented. Additionally, minor refinements in word choice (e.g., using 'participants' instead of 'contestants' for sports like badminton) would enhance the academic tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the data effectively. However, there are issues with sentence connectivity and phrasing that occasionally disrupt the flow. For instance, the phrase 'significant distribution pattern of' is left incomplete, and some transitions between ideas feel abrupt. To improve, ensure that every sentence is grammatically complete and use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Regarding...') to link the comparison between watching and participating more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task and includes some good attempts at variety, such as 'proportion,' 'witnesses a reverse pattern,' and 'disproportionate.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choices and awkward phrasing, such as 'wanting to join in them,' 'sports games,' and 'contestant' (which is better suited for individual competitions rather than team sports). Aim to use more precise academic collocations, such as 'engaging in sports' instead of 'joining in' or 'spectators' instead of 'audiences' when referring to sports.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'male aged' should be 'males aged'), missing verbs (e.g., 'Badminton, which the proportion... are not much disproportionate' is a fragment), and awkward prepositional usage. Pay close attention to sentence construction, particularly when using relative clauses, to ensure that each sentence has a clear subject, verb, and complete thought.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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