Pie Chart

Band 4+: The graphs below show how people in a European city reached their office and got back home in 1959 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graphs below show how people in a European city reached their office and got back home in 1959 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image includes two pie charts comparing transportation methods in a European city. In 1959: Foot 55%, Bus 10%, Train 2%, Car 7%, Other 15%, Average Distance 3.5 km, Average Duration 17 minutes. In 2009: Foot 25%, Bus 15%, Train 13%, Car 35%, Other 12%, Average Distance 19 km, Average Duration 42 minutes.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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In 1959 people mostly reached their office and got back home on foot, because only rich people can had a car.But in 2009 people mostly went to office and got back home by car. Because now every person can have a car . But in 2009 people went and went back to home on foot too.

Now, let’s talk about public transports. In 1956 people went to work by bus and by train . In 2009 people got to work by bus and by train too. In 1956 workers got and got back home as same as worker in 2009.

In 2009 worker prefered got to work by taxi especially in winter. Because their budget allowed than in 1956.

With this graghs we know that in 1956 workers prefered go to work on foot . But in 2009 workers prefered got to work by car.

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

because: 3

workers: 3

prefered: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant issues. The information presented is somewhat relevant but includes inaccuracies and personal interpretations not directly supported by the data. The organization is weak, and the language contains errors that impede understanding. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the charts, organizing the information more logically (e.g., by mode of transport or by year), and using more precise language. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. Ideas are not logically connected, and the flow of information is difficult to follow. The use of transition words is minimal, making it hard to understand the relationships between different points. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each address a specific aspect of the data, and a conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to link ideas and sentences together smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. The report relies on simple words and phrases, which restricts the depth of analysis. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to transportation, trends, and comparisons. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Focus on using more specific and descriptive language to convey information accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. There are also issues with punctuation and word choice. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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