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Band 5+: The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occured in London between 2003 and 2012

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The image displays a line graph showing the number of serious crimes in London between 2003 and 2012, with a y-axis for 'Number of Crimes' ranging from 0 to 4,000 and an x-axis for 'Year'. The data for three crime types is presented. Armed Robbery numbers for years 2003 through 2012 were approximately: 3,300, 3,650, 3,000, 2,250, 1,500, 1,050, 1,400, 1,450, 1,400, and 1,400. For Assault, the figures were approximately: 2,200, 2,350, 2,200, 1,950, 2,150, 1,900, 2,250, 2,500, 2,450, and 2,650. For Murder, the numbers were approximately: 500, 750, 800, 550, 500, 450, 475, 625, 500, and 500.

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The graph illustrates the count of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012.

Overall it is worth mentioning that armed robbery shows highest rates among crimes during first four years and has the highest decline compared with other types of crimes, whilst assault and murder delineates fluctuations during over the period.

Firstly at the first glance it is clear that armed robbery saves highest position during four years from 2003 to 2006 and reached the peak in 2004 with the rate over 3500 crimes. Nevertheless starting from 2004 the rates of armed robbery significantly dropped and shows approximately 1000 crimes in 2008 then plateaued and starting from 2009 shows about 1500 crimes.

Secondly assault type crimes starts the graph from just about 2300 crimes in 2003 then shows decline during 2004 to 2006 after climbed and hit the pick in 2012 with nearly 2700 crimes,while murder illustrates the lowest rates among others and reached his pick in 2005 with just under 1000 crimes then falling about 500 in 2006 and remain stable during the rest of period.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

crimes: 8

during: 5

shows: 4

armed: 3

robbery: 3

highest: 3

rates: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview of the trends in serious crimes in London between 2003 and 2012. There are some minor inaccuracies and omissions, but the main features of the graph are identified. To improve, focus on providing more precise data and ensuring accurate descriptions of the trends. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and clarity in sentence structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and overview are present, but the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall readability. For example, using transition words like 'However,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In contrast' can help guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but could be more effective with clearer topic sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit awkward or could be expressed more concisely. For instance, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Focus on using more precise language to describe trends and data points.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, sentences like 'armed robbery saves highest position' and 'murder illustrates the lowest rates' contain grammatical inaccuracies. Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules can significantly improve the accuracy of your writing. Pay attention to using correct articles (a, an, the) and prepositions.

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