Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

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The image shows pie charts for New Zealand's online retail sector sales, with 2003 data featuring travel at 36%, film/music at 21%, books at 19%, and clothes at 24%; 2013 data highlights travel at 29%, film/music at 33%, books at 22%, and clothes at 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the information on online purchases for market sectors in 2003 to 2013 in New Zealand.

Firstly, in 2003, online shopping for travel was 36%; whereas, it was 29% in 2013, which was less than from 2003; similarly, in 2013 for clothes sectors was 16% which was less than from 2003, that was 24%.

On the other hand, in 2013 book’s market higher than 2003, which was 22% and 19%; besides this, films and music was also high in 2013, which was 33%; despite, in 2003, it was only 21%.

Overall, in 2003 sales for travel and clothes was high but purchases of film/music and books was less impressive; same in 2013, travel and film/ music sales was quiet good than clothes and books.

Word Count: 127

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 4

travel: 3

clothes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides relevant data. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and language precision. To improve, consider structuring the report with a clearer overview and summary, and use more precise language to describe the changes and comparisons between the two years. Also, ensure that all data is accurately represented. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of information could be improved. The use of cohesive devices is present but not always effective, leading to some choppiness. Consider using a wider range of transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Paragraphing is basic but could be enhanced by grouping related information more thematically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and repetitive. There's a lack of precision in word choice, which affects the clarity of the report. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and comparisons, and avoid using the same words and phrases repeatedly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structures are often simple and lack complexity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures and carefully proofread for grammatical errors.

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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