Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the results of a survey of the causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011.

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The image shows a pie chart with the distribution of causes of poor learning outcomes in schools in a particular country in 2011: working parents account for 20%, lack of revision for 8%, poor facilities for 10%, unskilled teachers for 35%, and upbringing for 27%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given chart illustrates the causes of poor learning outcomes at school over the course of 2011.

Overall, it is clear that the most significant reason was unskilled tutors followed by working parents and upbringing, while the lowest reason recorded was lack of revision.

To begin with, the highest proportion was regarding unskilled teachers which consisted of 35%, whilst the second cause of weak learning is children’s upbringing which was approximately 27%. Nevertheless, the next factor is working parents who had the responsibility of their child. This accounted for 20%. In addition, the difference between working parents and poor facilities was 10%, leaving 8% for the lack of revision section.

Word Count: 110

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 3

parents: 3

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Task Response

The report appropriately covers the requirements of the task, presenting the main features of the pie chart with relevant data. The overall structure is clear, with an effective overview and well-organized body paragraphs. While the report is generally accurate, there's a minor inaccuracy regarding the difference between working parents and poor facilities. To improve, ensure complete accuracy in data representation and consider adding more comparative language to enhance the analysis. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The information is presented in a logical order, starting with an overview and then delving into specific details. However, transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate. There is room to enhance the lexical range by incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic of education and causes of poor learning outcomes. For example, instead of 'weak learning,' consider using 'suboptimal academic performance' or similar phrases.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to ensure clarity and precision. For instance, rephrasing sentences like 'working parents who had the responsibility of their child' to 'working parents' responsibilities' can improve grammatical accuracy and conciseness.

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