Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart shows the distribution of all video game sales in the Netherlands by genre in 2014

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The image displays a pie chart detailing sales distribution across various categories: Action 28%, Shooter 22%, Sports 13%, RPG 10%, Adventure 6%, Fighting 6%, Racing 5%, Strategy 4%, Family Entertainment 3%, Casual 1%, Others 2%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart shows/illustrates the distribution of all video game sales in Netherlande in 2014. The sectors are divided into bloven different genres including: Action, Shooter, sports, RPA, adventure, fighting, racing, strategy, family entertainment, casual and others.

Overall, vast majority of video game sold that year was action based while entry the minority sales werr found to be of casual video games. It is evident that gamers prefer action and shooting genere the most.

According to the pie chart, approximately three-tenth of the sales was of Action series games at 28%, followed closely by shooter genre at 22%. A smaller portion of 13% was sports games while one tenth of games RPG. The remaining sectors included Adventure at 6%, Fighting at 6%, Racing at 5% and strategy at 4%. The least popular game genre of the year was Family entertainment at 3%, casual at 1% and other genres at 2%.

In conclusion, it can be obserced that players preger games with more action and violence than the games with more brainstorming strategy.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 6

action: 5

video: 3

sales: 3

strategy: 3

casual: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview of the video game sales distribution in the Netherlands in 2014. There are some minor inaccuracies and omissions, such as misspelling 'Netherlands' and 'RPG'. To improve, ensure accurate spelling and consider grouping smaller categories to enhance clarity and conciseness.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping similar genres together in your analysis to enhance flow. For example, you could discuss action and shooter games together, followed by sports and RPG, and then the remaining categories. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and avoids introducing too many details at once.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more varied and precise. Instead of repeatedly using 'sales,' try synonyms like 'revenue,' 'market share,' or 'proportion of purchases.' Also, replace vague terms like 'vast majority' and 'entry the minority' with more specific quantifiers such as 'over a quarter' or 'a negligible fraction.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'games RPG' should be 'games were RPG'), correct spelling ('Netherlande' should be 'Netherlands,' 'werr' should be 'were,' 'genere' should be 'genre,' 'preger' should be 'prefer,' 'obserced' should be 'observed'), and proper article usage. Also, review sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence conveys a clear and concise message.

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