Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart shows the distribution of all video game sales in the Netherlands by genre in 2014

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The image displays a pie chart detailing sales distribution across various categories: Action 28%, Shooter 22%, Sports 13%, RPG 10%, Adventure 6%, Fighting 6%, Racing 5%, Strategy 4%, Family Entertainment 3%, Casual 1%, Others 2%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates a proportional sales of vidieo games in the Netherlands divided by eleven genres in 2014.

Overall, during this year, action and shooter video games halved the sales of video games. Meanwhile, casual and other video games were the lowest in sales.

In 2014, action vidieo games ranked the highest in sales accounting for 28%. While shooter video games were slightly less than action that the sales reached around 22%.

Sports and RPG video games were around half of the sales of shooter video games, accounting for 11%, 10% respectivaly. Whereas advanture and fighting video games were exactly the same proportion reaching around 6% of 2014 video games sales.

The of sales of video games were for raceing (5%), strategy (4%), family entertainment (3%), casual (1%), and other video games (2%) were the least figures durting the given period.

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 12

video: 10

sales: 6

action: 3

shooter: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview of the video game sales distribution in the Netherlands in 2014. There is a clear attempt to highlight key trends and proportions. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the report mentions that sports video games accounted for 11%, while the visual information states 13%. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and directly corresponds to the provided chart. Also, consider enhancing the structure by grouping smaller categories more effectively to avoid a long list at the end, which can make the analysis less impactful. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas within and between paragraphs needs improvement. Transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the analysis effortlessly. For example, the shift from discussing action and shooter games to casual and other games in the second paragraph lacks a clear connection. In the last paragraph, the sentence structure is awkward and could be improved for better clarity. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, and synonyms) to link ideas and create a smoother, more logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks the precision needed to accurately describe the data. There are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'halved the sales' and 'reached around 22%'. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to proportions and sales figures. For example, instead of 'halved the sales,' you could say 'accounted for approximately half of the total sales.' Also, focus on using more precise language to describe the data, avoiding vague terms like 'around' when specific figures are available. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. Common errors include incorrect spelling ('vidieo', 'advanture', 'raceing'), incorrect verb tense or form ('action vidieo games ranked the highest'), subject-verb agreement issues ('sales reached around 22%'), and awkward sentence structures. Pay close attention to these areas and proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures to express your ideas more effectively, but ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct and clear.

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