Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie chart shows the online sales for retail sectors in Canada in the years 2005 and 2010.

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The image presents two pie charts displaying online sales percentages for retail sectors in Canada for 2005 and 2010. In 2005, the distribution is Electronics & Appliances 35%, Food & Beverage 22%, Home Furnishings 25%, Video Games 18%. In 2010, the distribution shifts to Electronics & Appliances 30%, Food & Beverage 32%, Home Furnishings 15%, Video Games 23%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided pie graph illustrates the distribution of online sales across various retail sectors in Canada for the years 2005 and 2010.

Overall, there are noticeable shifts among the sales for retail sectors. The proportion of sales of Food and Beverage went from being the third highest in 2005 to reaching the first position in 2010, while the sales of Video Games also increased, however, the percentage of Home Furnishings and Electronics and Appliances has lowered by 2010.

The number of Electronics and Appliances being sold decreased significantly by 1/7, going from 35 percent to 30, which has lowered its position from the top highest to being the second. The proportion of Home Furnishings has decreased by 10 percent which was two fifth of its original percentage(25%).

On the other hand, from 2005 to 2010, the proportion of Food and Beverage soared by 10 percent, reaching the percent of 32 and becoming a leader among all the sectors. In addition, the year of 2010 witnessed a rise by 5 percent in segment of Video Games’s sales, which went from 18 to 23.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 5

percent: 5

sectors: 3

proportion: 3

being: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the main features of the pie charts and makes relevant comparisons between the years 2005 and 2010. The overall trends and specific changes in each sector are clearly identified and supported with data. To further enhance the response, consider providing a more concise overview in the introduction and conclusion, focusing on the most significant changes and their implications. Also, ensure that all percentage changes are calculated accurately to maintain precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and specific details in separate paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are mostly smooth, contributing to a coherent flow. However, consider using more varied cohesive devices to further enhance the connection between ideas and improve the overall readability.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to describing proportions and changes. Terms like 'proportion,' 'soared,' 'decreased significantly,' and 'witnessed a rise' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to market trends or economic shifts. Also, be careful with word choice to ensure accuracy (e.g., 'the first position' could be rephrased for better clarity).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement or awkward phrasing, but these do not significantly impede understanding. Pay close attention to proofreading to eliminate these minor errors and further refine the grammatical accuracy.

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