Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing average household expenditures in a country between 1950 and 2010. In 1950, Housing accounted for 72.1%, Food 11.5%, Health care 5.1%, Education 2.1%, Transportation 3.5%, and Other 5.7%. In 2010, Housing dropped to 34.8%, Food decreased to 14.8%, Health care increased to 7.2%, Education rose to 18.2%, Transportation escalated to 13%, and Other climbed to 12%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts depict the difference average household expenditures by major category between 1950 and 2010.

A glance at the charts reveals that the highest average household expenditures in 1950 is on housing ,whilst it’s on food in 2010,whereas the lowest one for both of them is on healthcare.

As it pretended in the diagram,healthcare witnessed a slight increase from 2,4% in 1950 ,to 4,5% in 2010,whereas transportation,food and other domains increased massively between 1950 and 2010, from 3,3% to 14%, from 11,2% to 34% and from 4,4% to 19,2%.

The graphs also show that average household expenditures on housing decreased dramatically from 72,1% in 1950 to 22% in 2010,whereas education dropped slightly from 6,6% in 1950 to 6,3% in 2010.

Word Count: 122

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

average: 3

household: 3

expenditures: 3

2010whereas: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task and identifies some key trends, such as the decrease in housing expenditure. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. Many of the figures cited in the report do not align with the provided visual description (for example, the report claims food was the highest expenditure in 2010, whereas the description states housing remained the highest at 34.8%, and the percentages provided for several categories are incorrect). Additionally, some comparisons are contradictory; for instance, the report describes education as dropping slightly, while the data suggests it rose significantly. To improve, ensure that every number reported is double-checked against the visual data and that the summary accurately reflects the direction of change (increase vs. decrease) for each category. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, but the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. The use of cohesive devices like 'whereas' and 'whilst' is appropriate, but the sentence structures are sometimes cluttered, making it difficult to follow the comparisons smoothly. To improve, focus on using clearer transition signals and ensuring that each sentence has a single, clear purpose. Avoid overusing 'whereas' in a single long sentence, as this can lead to run-on structures.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and, in some instances, inaccurate in its application. For example, the phrase 'As it pretended in the diagram' is an incorrect use of the verb 'pretend' (which refers to acting or feigning); 'as shown' or 'as illustrated' would be the correct academic alternatives. Additionally, words like 'massively' and 'dramatically' are used, but the overall range of vocabulary is limited. Aim to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase', 'decrease', and 'show' to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical issues that impact the clarity of the report. There are errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'expenditures... is') and issues with punctuation, such as the placement of commas and the use of commas instead of decimal points (e.g., '2,4%' instead of '2.4%'). The sentence structures are a mix of simple and complex, but the complexity often leads to errors. To improve, practice using decimal points correctly in English and focus on mastering complex sentence structures to ensure they remain grammatically sound.

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